It's not a date!
by BlackMH
Summary: Morigan won't stop teasing Lilith about being manless. So, one night, she decides to shut her friggin' mouth by getting one. However, she soon regrets everything that night. FINISHED!
1. In need of a guy, any guy!

It's not a date!

Hello! It's me again. I decided to accept anonymous reviews to expand my rep. so if you're an anonymous reader, don't be afraid to give me a review.

Summary: Morrigan loves rubbing in the fact that Lilith doesn't have a man of her own. When a block party occurs in the human world, Lilith is determined to show off a hot man of her own. But being a succubus, she can only accept demonic men. So who, who I ask you, could be this man:: Jedah :

Hsien-ko: Hahah! Lilith is getting Jedah? Black M., this is the most genius thing you've ever done!

Me: don't forget you're in it too.

Hsien-ko: wait a minute, this is a Darkstalkers story? Holy crap! I better get in place!

Me: yeah, you do that. Enjoy……

Lilith was walking away from the Dark forest of Neverlife, a.k.a. the hangout of all crap-flinging demon monkeys. But at the moment, they were having lunch. Anyways, she had another feud with her sister, Morrigan, about the fact that she has no man.

"I want a man too," she mumbled, "Why couldn't Demitri be mine? That's the last time I play hide-and-seek with Morrigan."

She saw Q bee holding a cup in front of a bee's nest, or just bee hive. She took a sip from the cup, sampled it, and threw the cup into the nest.

"No! Wrong again!" she yelled, "Stir the mixture more fluently, and I want two fingers."

"Yes your highness," said a small voice from within the bee's nest, err, bee hive.

She sat down on a rock as she fumbled about B's and P's and Q's and D's. Something about the lowercase versions having too much in common. She spotted Lilith walking by and greeted her; she ignored.

"I said hi," she repeated.

"Oh, sorry I didn't see you there," she apologized as she sat on the rock next to her.

Q bee noticed her mind was on something. She could always tell because she tends to fickle her wings whenever she does. Either that or throw rocks at a cactus or encourage a kid with a bb gun.

"Wha'cha doin'?" she asks playfully.

"Morrigan and Demitri are going to a dance party and it's couples only."

"I don't see what the big deal is."

"She won't shut up about me not having a man to take. Ugh! I need someone, anyone would do."

Q bee pondered for a moment. Then a thought hit her.

"What if you take someone who'll **temporarily **be your date?"

"Sure I guess that could work," she said honestly, "but it can't be just anyone. It has to be someone who's unholy, demonic, and handsome for my tastes."

"Hmm. Well that'll be difficult. Especially since all the guys here who have the stuffing are undead or just plain smelly."

"How do you do it Q bee?"

Again, she pondered for a moment.

"I guess you just have to be yourself. It got me where I am today."

A small soul bee flew next to her, holding, with great difficulty, some fine honey. She looked at it and said.

"I said two fingers," she held up her index and pinkie finger and knocked it away, "bitch!"

"Well, now that we've got that down, all we need to figure out is who would be my date?"

"Temporary date."

"Right. But who could it be? Who's out there that matches my breed to near perfection? Who, I ask you, who?"

"….."

LATER

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Lilith said.

"Quiet, he's opening it," Q bee said.

From the other side of the door, locks could be heard unlocking variously. The door slowly opened to reveal none other than…..Jedah.

"What is it you- oh, it's you two. What d'ya want?" he said with much rudeness.

Q bee pushed Lilith towards him. She tried her best to put up a smile, but failed miserably. Still she smiled, but anyone could tell she was trying.

"Jedah," she said through her teeth, trying to sustain a smile, "it is with great intention and urgency that I, Princess Aensland the second, propose an offer to you, a dark messiah, an invitation to a celebration threshold with no purpose whatsoever in recognition of my respect and humiliation of my sister, Princess Aen-"

"WILL YOU JUST GET ON WITH IT WOMAN!" Q bee yelled.

"But it's by Aensland rights that I must speak like this. For that I, Princess Aensland the third-"

"I thought it was second," Jedah interrupted.

"You actually listened," Lilith said, ACTUALLY impressed.

Q bee sighed; it was obvious that she was stalling as much time as possible to get out of the deal.

"Look," she said, "it's plain and simple. Lilith is asking you out to a dance party as her date."

Lilith and Jedah were silent. Jedah didn't stay silent for long.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! You seriously expect me to play along such unnecessary deeds!" he said wiping the tears of laughter away from his eyes.

"You don't have to be her date," Q bee said, "all you have to do is pretend to be her date just to get Morrigan off her back."

"Please Jedah?" Lilith said with the puppy eye dog look.

Apparently, Jedah was not falling for it.

"I…… don't think so."

He retreated into his house to close his door, but Q bee set her foot to prevent him from closing it completely.

"Listen here Dark messiah mister," she said, "I'm helping this girl with her sister and I'm not gonna let this minor obstacle get pass me. Either you go with her to the dance, or I'll email everyone those pictures at last years New years party."

"Gasp! You said there was no film in that camera," Jedah said.

"So what's it gonna be Jedah?"

"……"

Okay, so this chapter wasn't bad. This story will mainly be two chapters, but I need your opinion on this. JedahxLilith, should I do it? I mean, Morrigan's got Demitri, so, why not Lilith? Anyways, R & R!


	2. Let the date, err, begin!

First of all…

"**V.O.I.D." -**so, there is someone out there who agrees with me on the Jedah x Lilith factor. Yes, I am updating, problem is: you're just 1 reviewer. I'm gonna need more people reviewing me so I can consider it. 'Til then, this chapter will be mainly humor.

New addition-this story will be 3 chapters instead of 2.

Disclaimer: I think it's pretty clear that I don't own darkstalkers, which is why I haven't spoken one in any of my previous stories, but I'm mainly disclaiming the humor from which this humorous chapter originated from. I do not own Final Fantasy Fugitive from  the guy Crazy Boris does.

Morrigan and Demitri left to the block party somewhat two hours ago. Lilith did not tell her sister about her pre-arranged "date", so now she's getting ready for the night.

"Let's see," Lilith said in front of a mirror.

She snapped her fingers as her form shifted from her succubae form to a human dance outfit. She had a black tank-top, green mini-skirt, and red boots.

"…Nah."

She snapped them again as she changed into a yellow vest with a red shirt within with a heart cut through, black shorts that potentially hugged her thighs, and boots that hooked themselves to the shorts.

"No way."

She snapped her fingers again, time after time, clothes after clothes, finding the perfect outfit for her.

"Why can't this be easy like Halloween?" she asked herself.

She recalled a memory on Halloween night when she and her sister where flying in the air over a town full of kids scouring the city for candy. She didn't remember exactly how that night went, only that someone was set on fire and some guy peed in his pants. Oh, and an elephant tee-peed a house. Why? I don't know.

Lord Raptor was reading a book in the living room, drinking tea. As a rock star, you have a difficult life with fans and stress. Can you blame the guy? The dead women of Resident Evil rampaged the town just to get a hold of his chest.

(A/N: Now don't criticize me about involving Resident Evil, Capcom owns Resident Evil and if I recall, this is Darkstalkers. Also owned by Capcom.)

"So," Victor said walking into the living room, "what are we supposed to do again?"

"Watch the house while everyone is out."

"Well, wanna play tic-tac-toe?" he said getting out some paper and pen.

"Um, no. hey, why are you being dumb all of a sudden?"

"Okay, how about poker? I've been practicing and I'm getting really good," he said getting cards and dice.

"You must've gotten a stupid brain. Sorry, no."

"Well, lemme read the book! Lemme read the book!"

Lilith came into the living room wearing the type of dress you'd find suitable for her. (A/N: sorry, I ran out of clothes description ideas.)

"What's going on here?" she asked.

"Lemme read the book!" Victor repeated.

"Um, no. You're too stupid." Raptor simply said.

"Ok, anyways, I'm leaving," she opened the door; closed it, "uh, I'm gonna go through the back door."

"Well in that case," Victor said ignoring Lilith, "_I'm too stupid for the book, too stupid for the book. Can't even have a look_" he started to dance.

Lilith knew no one was paying any attention, so she left without saying another word.

"_I'm too stupid for the tree, too stupid for the tree. Christmas tree!" _ He jumped in front of a window, "_I'm too stupid for the window, too stu-" _SMACK!

Raptor hit him with the book.

"Fine, you know what, take the book. I'm going for a walk."

Victor got the book and said.

"Ohohohooooh yes. Okay let's begin."

….

"Where's the start button?"

Raptor opened the door; he closed it.

"Wow," he said as he walked back to his chair.

"What's out there?" Victor said.

Victor wore the book awkwardly on his bolts. The only way they were stable, was by giving Raptor the inability to finish the book.

"You don't wanna know."

The window had dead people moaning from outside. The females were screaming 'WE LOVE YOU LORD RAPTOR!' while the males were yelling 'SIGN MY ASS! MY DONKEY AND MY ASS!'.

WITH LILITH

She flew over the hoard of zombies moaning at their house. (A/N: did I mention they live in the same house?) She knew they were either here for Lord Raptor or the cookies Anakaris is making. (A/N: What? He makes some damn good cookies.  ) she flew quite a distance over the land as she looked for one particular household. She soon spotted the house and Q bee standing in the frontyard. Curious, she descended onto the grassy ground in front of Q bee as she tapped her foot impatiently.

"You're late," she simply said.

"I know, see, zombies were-"

"I don't need to know," she interrupted, "just go get Jedah."

She looked at the door with uneasiness. She began to walk towards the door slowly. It was as if a heart was beating through the time.

"Why are you walking so slowly?" Q bee asked.

"It builds up tension," Lilith answered.

"Did I mention that I can cancel this date any time I want?"

"It's not a date!" Lilith shot back.

"Well, get a move on, girl!"

She sped up to the door as the heartbeat sped up as well. With greatest concern she has ever felt in her entire life, she knocked the door.

**To be continued…….**

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A/N: Did you really think it was over? My god, people are so gullible these days.

Jedah unlocked various locks on the other side. He opened the door and Lilith was in shock.

He didn't look like himself. His skin was skin-brown, he had hair on his scalp that was shaped almost like his previous headwear, his suit was now toned down to fit naturally in human society, and not a stain of blood on him.

In Lilith's eyes, he was, well, kinda handsome.

"So…this is your human disguise?" Lilith asked.

"Yeah. I actually used this form a couple of times in my life but I never thought tonight was necessary," he said.

"When did you use this form other than tonight?"

"I've visit the human world sometimes."

"Really? What is your favorite place?"

"Well, as strange as it sounds, really high cliffs. Possibly because-"

"Many people commit suicide there?" Lilith interrupted.

"Yeah. What do you think when you go there?"

"Well, I try to think of many reasons why some guy would commit suicide. I always thought his life was of no worth."

"Well, honestly, I thought it was just some idiot's excuse to not go to work."

Q bee saw that they were already getting along. Q bee left the scene thinking.

'Oh god, bribing is one despicable thing, but I've just played matchmaker! And with the two unlikely couples!'

**To be continued……(and I mean it).**

I'm not sure if this chapter had humor, but if you really want it…..JedahxLilith. I could make it happen, I have the powers. But really, vote in your replies. Seriously, I don't know if you'll hate me or not for doing this. I guess I should stop talking right now. R & R!


	3. Panic, leprechauns, and toilets!

The updating of this chapter is all thanks to Baron Hausenpher's review. As soon as I read his review, I began typing. And to answer your question, it seemed that the hypertext link went awry. I tried entering a link to this other site, but the transfer completely messed it up. I'll try again, but at the end of the chapter. Too risky to do so right now.

"Shouldn't we be going to this, block party?" Jedah said.

"Party? What party?"

'Sigh. She's trying to stall for time again. It may not be impolite, but I love watching weaklings squirm,' Jedah thought.

"You know, the party your sister went to?"

"Sister?"

"Oh for the love of my opposite-religion leader," Jedah said. (A/N: inside joke. XD)

"And who's that?"

"Lilith, what is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong with you?"

"Now you're just being desperate."

"Now _you're _just being desperate."

"Excuse me, but aren't you the one who agreed to an arranged date to one-up her sister, even if it meant dating a dark messiah, the same guy who wanted to gather all souls into perfect unity?"

"…………………. Let's just get going."

'Works all the time,' Jedah thought.

AT THE HOUSE

" 'ey! Open up this door before I bust it down!" Raptor yelled at a bathroom door.

"It's no use Raptor," Rikou said, "all the bathrooms are out of order."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know, but now I have to go into the park fountain to refresh my body's water supply to survive. I have to do that every 3 hours, you know."

"Wait a minute, hasn't it been 2 hours and 59 minutes?"

"TIME SINCE LAST REHYDRATION," Phobos said, "2 HOURS, 59 MINUTES AND 33 SECONDS."

"OH GOD I WANT TO LIVE!" Rikou yelled as he ran out the house, through the zombie fans and into the park.

"Okay," Raptor said in a slow, monotonous tone, "can someone tell me what happened to the bathrooms?"

B.B. hood was just walking by, with Victor's head full of dog-food.

"Hey B.B. hood," Raptor said, "do you know what happened to the toilets?"

"Uh, no. But I did restock the toilet paper supply."

"We weren't low on toilet paper."

"Well, we were. It was right after Anita was using the restroom spontaneously last Tuesday."

AUTOMATIC FLASHBACK (like the ones in Family Guy)

Anita was tossing roll after roll into the toilet.

"They'll never blame the sad girl," she repeated through the entire process.

END OF AUTOMATIC FLASHBACK

"Has anyone seen Anakaris?" Q bee asked.

B.B. hood shifted her eyes suspiciously.

"Now why would I know where Anakaris, or pieces of him, could be? Definitely not in the pipes of a sewage system," she said as if she was under suspicion.

"We didn't ask you."

"Oh, I'll take my soup in the studies."

"But that's dog-food," Raptor said.

Unfortunately, she didn't hear Raptor in time. She dropped the head and ran to the bathroom to wash out the taste, but it was locked.

"HEY! Can't you see I'm in the can?" Anakaris yelled.

"Well, get out! I stuffed you in there in the first place!"

"Wait, if Anakaris is in the can, then where's Prince Albin?" Raptor asked.

"He got married and moved to Denmark," Q bee answered.

"So, Q bee, where have you been?"

"I just got back from matching Lilith up with some random dude."

"Did you meet this random dude?"

"Unbelievably, yes."

"And who was he?" Victor asked as he screwed on his head, "And why do I taste chicken and gravy?"

"Well, the person was Jedah."

Silence.

Raptor cleaned his ears with his pinky and asked.

"Uh, say that again?"

"Jedah."

Raptor dug deeper into his ear and asked again.

"Uh, would you mind repeating the question?"

"Jedah."

Raptor got an air powered impact gun and cleaned out his ears completely. (A/N: the next time you go to an auto-repair shop, ask what an air powered impact gun is. You really can't get this joke unless you know a good deal about cars.)

"One more time?"

"Jedah."

From that moment on, Raptor knew he was the only guy who didn't have a girl. At the same time, he left the house and let himself get bombarded by female fan-girls, proving to fan fiction readers of Darkstalkers that he wasn't gay.

ENOUGH OF THAT NONSENSE. BACK TO JEDAH AND LILITH

They arrived at the night club where various people, teens and adults, were waiting in line to get inside. Jedah had to admit, the humans didn't have a bad taste in style. (A/N: we humans are so complex in about everything else, except for clothing. That is why the monsters from the netherworld spared us. Praise be to fashion.)

"So this is a night club?" Jedah asked.

"Yep! Now, let's get in line."

"No need. Watch," he said as he walked all the way in front of the line.

"Uh, Jedah, I don't think it's a good idea to-"

"Hello there, mind letting us pass through?" he asked the guard.

"Sorry bucko, wait in line like everyone else."

"C'mon Jedah. Just wait in line. We don't want to cause trouble," she whispered.

"Wait, Jedah?" he asked.

"D-Demos?" Jedah asked.

"Oh my god, it is you! How long has it been?"

"Demos! It is you! I haven't seen you in college or after Pluto's attack."

"Wait, you guys know each other?" Lilith asked.

"Hell yeah. Me and Jedah were roommates at Dead blood University. It was until the god of the underworld kidnapped me along with Phobos."

"You know Phobos?" Lilith asked.

"Yeah, he's my brother, technically. My father created him to discipline me whenever I did something bad."

"He lives at our house. But I'm not sure if he'll recognize you. He was shut down for quite some time," Lilith said.

"So, will you let us pass through?" Jedah asked.

"Sure, as long as you give me your house phone number. I haven't spoken with Phobos in years."

"Sure thing pal."

After a friendly conversation while writing the house number, they entered the club as they laughed at the good time they had.

"Ahah…. What an ass," Jedah said recovering from his laughter.

"He is? He didn't seem so bad," Lilith said.

"He always stole from me, painted my face when I was asleep and always got the last pop-tart in the fridge. And FYI, it was I who told Pluto where to find Demos."

"Well, I can see if you had a little feud with him in college, but why would you rat him out like that?"

"It's a college rivalry thing. Like your sister's love to whore around, they never die down."

Lilith and Jedah were laughing at his joke. A woman dressed in black crushed the cup of punch she was holding.

"So, what exactly was Demos doing here in the human world?"

"Like you and your sister, many of us like to hustle around here. In fact there are some of them in this very club right now. Look," Jedah said pointing to a guy with ears almost normal enough to not be recognized, "that guys a nymph from the forest where Echo was last seen."

He saw a lady with red hair and a green dress.

"That's a mermaid from the red sea."

And a guy with orange facial hair.

"And that man would be a leprechaun freshly 21 from the hills of Ireland."

"I thought leprechauns were shorter," Lilith said.

"Well, they had a meeting regarding leprechaun's human appearances. The only things they removed was the height, Irish accent, alcohol usage and that retarded 'they're after me lucky charms' phrase," he said imitating a leprechaun's voice at the phrase.

"Even though I don't know much about leprechauns, there's no way a leprechaun is supposed to say that."

"They don't have to, but so many people were sued by General Mills, they had to put a stop to it."

"Hello Lilith, dear sister," a woman said.

"And who is this man that seems to be your occupant for the night?" a man with a familiar voice said as well.

'Oh dear God no, please don't let it be her,' she thought.

Uh-oh, Morrigan found Lilith, but does she know of her date? And if she does, what will happen next?

Here's the link as explained earlier:

Final Fantasy Fugitive Funny Flash

If this doesn't work, I'll try again on the next chapter. For now, R & R!


	4. OMG! A HOLE!

Here's another chapter! On my computer, it was like, 2 or 3 ages, and I had little inspiration to finish it. Even though that was a major problem for me, I decided to get off of my ass and get it done. Before I begin though, I got a major boost in my humor as soon as I started this. Get ready to laugh your….you get the friggin' point.

P.S. to answer your question Baron Hausenpheffer, Lilith wanted to show up her sister, but she didn't want to be seen _with_ Jedah. She's afraid that Morrigan and Demitri might recognize him. So there.

Lilith tensed at the sound of her sister's voice. She carefully turned around to see Morrigan in clothing she usually wears when out into the human world and Demitri in a suit slightly similar to his regular clothing. Had it not been for the eye underlining, people would see him as 'normal'.

"Uh…do I know you?" she stupidly asked.

"Come now Lilith, we both know you're here with a man. Why else would you arrive?"

"Yeah. Speaking of whom, where did he go?" Demitri asked.

"Well, he's right…"

Lilith moved her hands to signal her attention to her left, but nothing was there. She noticed it and looked around for Jedah. She spotted him chatting with another lady, who oddly had a tail. (A/N: O.o) She stomped over to him and pulled him away by locking arms with him.

"What are you doing? You're supposed to be man material for-" she whispered.

She remembered that this was Jedah, her 'date', and she was shoving him over to Morrigan, her sister. She quickly switched to push as she whispered.

"No! Go back! Don't look. Don't make eye contact with-"

Unfortunately, she forgot that Jedah was at the food table when he was chatting with the 'girl'. She slipped on some punch that some idiot seemed to spill as Jedah was pushed towards the table. You can guess what happened next.

BAM!

CRASH!

SCREAM!

MOO! (A/N: WTF?)(1)

"Ow. My face! Son of a bitch…dammit!" Lilith whispered to herself as she got up from the chair that seemed to have fallen on her, again and again. Jedah was trying to get his face out of the punch bowl. For some reason, this seemed like a difficult task.

"You know," Morrigan said walking to Lilith, "if you're trying to impress me with your date do, I'm pretty sure what you're doing is beneficial."

"Can it."

Jedah was walking over to them, punch bowl on head, trying his best to keep his vision.

"So, who's your date?" Morrigan asked.

"Uh…" she was thankful that they did not recognize him.

"Hmm, you look familiar," Demitri asked, "what's your name?"

Jedah gave blatant 'uhhhhh' as he looked over to Lilith, who was behind them. She gave a shrug in the shoulders and raised her hands along with a look that said 'Why are looking at me for?' he looked back to them and tried to come up with a name.

"Jed-Je…Jeff! Yeah, Jeff!"

"Jeff?" Morrigan repeated.

"Yeah, that's my name. Not anything like Jewel, or Jed…or in particular something like Jedah. Heh…"

"Hmm…Lilith, come here," Morrigan said pulling Lilith away.

"Lilith, is this guy human?"

"What?"

"Is this guy human?"

"No, of course not! I'm not that stupid."

"Really? Huh, couldn't tell."

"What's that suppose to mean? Seriously, I don't know."

Morrigan looked at her as in 'youse serious?'

"It means I was mocking you."

"Oh….and is mocking a term for banging someone? Like you usually do every 40 minutes?"

Demitri bursted out laughing in response to Lilith's "question". In between, he said…

"That's her alright!"(2)

Morrigan answered with a simple 'no' and a 'mock' to Demitri's head.

"So…where'd you meet him?"

Lilith tensed up upon hearing her sister's question. She hadn't planned an answer to that kind of question. She decided to 'wing' it. (A/N: I've got to stop quoting words.)

"Uh, I met him on my walk to…the grocery store! Yeah, that's it."

"Lilith, there isn't a grocery store in the demon world," Morrigan corrected.

"Uh, I knew that! I was talking about the ones here in the human world!"

"Really? Well then, describe what happened when you met him," Morrigan asked.

"Uh…okay. Let's see, I was walking down 98th lane by the teddy bear factory. I turned a corner where a mountain jaguar was selling toy centipedes. Crossed a street with a purple manhole named Anorexia. And walked into a supermarket where they sell ice but no ice cooler and sell yogurt but no milk."

"…are you serious?" Morrigan asked.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Okay, I think I'm gonna go with my date for a little while. And away from you."

"Thank my-anti-religion-leader," Lilith muttered.

MEANWHILE AT THE HOUSE OF THE DARKSTALKERS

(DUN-DUN-DUNNN!)

ACK! IT'S YOU! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUTSIDE!

(DUN-DUN-DUNNN!)

THAT'S IT, I'M CALLING THE COPS

(DUN-DUN-DU-OH GOD, YOU'RE NOT KIDDING?)(3)

Ignore that…please.

Lord Raptor made a big mistake in going outside. The zombies did what they were known for to him; rip off condimental body parts and shriek like fan girls. Lord Raptor will be missin' that arm…and those ear drums.

"HELP ME!" he said running inside minus an arm and locking the door shut.

"What happened to your arm, Raptor?" B.B. hood asked.

"No time for that chicken noodle," he said to her. (4)

"I told you not to call me that!"

"Whatever, hey. Mind calling your friend to get rid of those zombies out there?"

"You mean Jill? Sure, but you will have to repay those long distance minutes."

"Sure, whatever. Stupid Boost Mobile," he muttered as he walked back into the living room.

"Hey Raptor!" Victor said walking up to him, "I'm gonna make you go blind!"

"Um, okay."

Victor closed his eyes real tight for…well actually, he didn't stop. (5)

"Are you trying to set me on fire with your mind?" he asked, "'cause if that's what you're trying to do, you know only Pyron and Jedah can do that, right?"

"Nope! You're blind because everything's dark! Now you can't see a thing!" he said with stupid glee.

"Uh, dummo? You know you're blind too, you know?"

"Yeah, but you are too! So, ha! Rock beats paper!"

"If that's the case then, oh no!" he said feeling his sarcasm go up, "I'm as blind as a bat! I can't see a thing and have to stay in the same place because I'm blind!"

"Yeah! And I'll make sure you stay blind by staying here!"

Lord Raptor simply tiptoed past Victor quietly and continued on into the kitchen meeting a scarred-for-life Q. Bee, a senile Anita whispering 'toilet paper' hugging her headless doll in a fetal position, a Rikou reading a newspaper and a Phobos staring off into nothingness.

"Hey Q. Bee, you're back," Said Raptor.

"And I see you're still in one piece," she shot back.

"'Tis pretty quiet here tonight," he said, "where is everyone?"

"Well, B.B. hood is having a girl talk with her friend Jill on the phone, Jedah, Lilith, Morrigan and Demitri, we all know where they are, Anakaris, I think he's still in the toilet…"

MEANWHILE IN THE BATHROOM

"Can someone help me?" Anakaris moaned from the toilet, "I don't know which way is up or down no mores."

BACK IN THE KITCHEN

"And I'm pretty sure Victor is still in the hallway where I left him," Raptor said.

"Hmm, although I don't know where Hsien-ko is," Q. bee wondered.

"Hsien-ko?" Raptor repeated.

"Yeah, you know," she began in a tone of sarcasm, "everyone's favorite Chinese hopping corpse that everyone loves. God, why does she have more fans than we do? I'm a queen! She died in her sleep for god's-"

"Tell me where she is!" Raptor interrupted angrily.

"Uh, I don't know! Help me Victor!" she wailed.

"Leave him alone. He doesn't know what's going on."

"I don't know what's going on," Victor repeated…again.

"Uh, well, get away from me!" she said as she kicked Raptor out of the way and ran.

Raptor got up and rubbed his tender area where Q. bee abruptly bruised……I mean his shins. (6)

"You know, if you think Hsien-ko will like you because she's undead like you are, then keep dreaming," Rikou said from his newspaper.

"Well, I am free to dream. And she will be mine!" Raptor said confidently.

"Heh, you're as obsessed as any other Hsien-ko fan boy."

Raptor gave a death-glare to Rikou. Rikou simply responded by shrugging his shoulders and looking back to his paper. Raptor than spoke.

"Phobos, how long has it been?"

"How long has what been?" Rikou asked.

"Phobos?" Raptor asked again.

Phobos was on the other side of the room, staring at nothing, which he usually does.

"Phobos!" Raptor said.

"HUH?" Phobos responded.

"How long has it been since-?"

"GO AWAY, I'M DOING SOMETHING," he said. (A/N: he's not screaming or anything. It's his robot voice. Ph3ar the robo voice. Oooohhhhhh! ...I'll shut up now.)

"Say wha- git over 'ere!" Raptor responded…again.

"GO AWAY. I'M DOING SOMETHING."

"Git over here!"

"OKAY."

Raptor waited awhile since he agreed. And only for awhile; Phobos didn't move an inch.

"Git over here," Raptor said agitated.

"I'M COMING!"

He finally came over. (7)

"Phobos, how long has it been since Rikou last re-hydrated?"

"APPROXIMATE TIME SINCE RE-HYDRATION, 2 HOURS, 59 MINUTES AND 41 SECONDS."

"OH GOD I WON'T MAKE IT THIS TIME!" Rikou screamed horrifically as he ran out of the room and through the wall that had the door that led outside.

"We have a door you know!" Raptor yelled from the kitchen, hearing Rikou's fish-out-of-water body connect with the crappy plaster they call a wall.

"Great, now I have to barricade the walls to keep the zombie fans out," he said clutching his forehead.

He heard beeping outside, the kinds of beeping you hear from trucks or really boring video games. From the kitchen and through the wall, he saw B.B. hood on a bulldozer and an AK 47.

"It's ok, we got it covered," she said.

"We?" Raptor asked to himself.

He ran outside to see B.B. hood and a woman in blue uniform on bulldozers pushing the zombies away.

"Save us Raptor!" one of the zombies said.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked.

The woman in blue saw him and screamed 'zombie leader!'

"Jill, its okay," B.B. hood said, "He's no-"

Jill suddenly got a giant rocket launcher out of nowhere and began to fire at Raptor, who hid behind the crappy plaster they call a wall, which by the way, didn't prove as much as defensive as he thought.

"Jill, stop! It's okay, no need to get all rocket blastingy," B.B. hood said.

"Yeah, I'm harmless," he said from hiding behind whatever-remained-of-the-wall, "like a fly."

AND NOW, WE HAVE A SHORT INTERVIEW WITH A FLY.

A fly is sitting on a human stool and speaking into a microphone.

"I have a criminal record for killing hookers and double homicides. My first murder was committed by pushing some man down a bridge. And than after that, this man suddenly came up to me asking for money. I didn't know what to do, should I give him money? Or walk away? I couldn't make up me mind so, I shot him in face."

THIS WAS AN INTERVIEW WITH AN ORDINARY FLY.

"Oh, well, are you sure?" Jill asked B.B. hood.

"Yeah, I live with him."

"Okay…"

"Hey, where'd you get those bulldozers?" Raptor asked.

I probably shouldn't do this, but just to let you know, Victor walked out of the house and is standing next to Raptor right now. He's still "blinding" Raptor though.

"I've been wondering that too," Jill said.

"Uh…" B.B. hood began, "from a construction site owned by an American afraid of commitment?"

"…Excellent!" Raptor and Jill said as they both got their guitars, Jill's was out of nowhere, and played a few strings. (8)

"And now I'm off to find my lady!" Raptor yelled as he thrusted his hand into the sky.

There was silence between the three, four if your counting Victor, as Raptor stood still.

"Um, where is she?" Raptor asked.

"Who?" B.B. hood questioned.

"Hsien-ko."

"Oh, well she's- wait, your lady?" B.B. hood gave him an odd look.

Raptor shot back a look and said, "Should you be caring?"

"Guess you're right. Well, she's at the night club where Jedah and Lilith are."

"Hsien-ko! I'm coming baby!" Raptor yelled as he ran in the direction of the night club, which he somehow knew which way it was.

"Yeah," Victor said, still "blinding" Raptor, "he's gonna find Hsien-ko, and when he does, they'll both be blinded by m-"

Jill suddenly struck Victor with her bulldozer.

"Paper beats rock," she said, "…bitch."(9)

"What's that supposed to mean?" B.B. hood asked.

"I have no idea."

BACK TO JEDAH AND LILITH

"Can you believe it?" Morrigan asked Demitri, "Lilith actually met a guy she can relate too. I almost feel jealous if it weren't for the awkward way they met each other."

"How?" he asked.

"Well, you won't believe it, but it happened when she was walking down 98th lane next to a teddy bear factory…"

"You mean the one with the corner with a mountain jaguar selling toy centipedes?"

"Yeah."

"And across the street was a supermarket where they sell ice but no ice cooler and yogurt but no milk?"

"…yeah."

"All in between a road pavement with a purple manhole named anorexia?" he said with astonishment rising in his voice with each question.

"H-How do you know all this stuff?" she asked.

"I don't actually…"

"…" (10)

Meanwhile, Jedah and Lilith were trying their best to keep their distance from each other while looking like a couple. Another very difficult task to master.

"Oh my god," said a voice behind them.

'Wait a minute; I know that voice….she's here too?' Lilith thought.

"Lilith…and Jedah? God, where's a Kodak moment when you need one?"

"Hsien-ko! What are you doing here?" Lilith asked.

"Well, I knew you looked familiar when I saw you enter and-"

"No seriously, what ARE you doing here? I thought this was a couples-only club."

"I work here, duh."

"Wait," Jedah noted, "who did you say I was?"

"…Jedah?"

Lilith suddenly screamed.

"You better shut your friggin' mouth about this blue girl or else I'll pop a freakin' corn in your mouth!" Lilith screamed frantically as she held and shook Hsien-ko's collar back and forth.

"Whoa, calm down. I'll keep quiet about this. I'm just a bit surprised about this, that's all."

This eased Lilith's nerves; just a little.

"So, Jedah, ya lost a bet or something?" Hsien-ko asked.

"Kinda. See, Q. bee actually had film in that camera on New Years Eve and she-"

"Say no more," Hsien-ko interrupted, "I can tell what happened. Those photos would've been too embarrassing for others to see if I were you. Poor horses…."

"Well, at least it's not a total bust," Lilith said, cheering up, "I'm here and so is Jedah and if we can last by the minute Morrigan and Demitri leave this place, we're out of here and back onto our lives."

"Yep!" Jedah said, agreeing with her, "as long as they don't stay in that long."

"ATTENTION, ATTENTION EVERYONE," said someone's voice through the speakers in the top corners of the room, canceling out the music, "WE APPEAR TO HAVE A ZOMBIE BREAK OUT IN THE VICINITY OF THE CITY SO IF YOU WILL, BE ADVISED TO STAY INSIDE UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN…"

At this, one thought ran through Jedah's and Lilith's mind.

'DAMN IT ALL TO HOME!' (11)

"OR EITHER THE TWO MANIIACAL WOMAN WHO ARE TAKING ON THE ZOMBIES KILL THEM ALL…"

Another thought ran through the two minds.

'B.B. hood and Jill…'

"OR THE PURPOSE OF THEIR BEING IS DISCOVERED AND DEALED WITH."

Once again, the same thought ran through their heads.

"Raptor," they said.

"Did someone call my name!" Raptor yelled busting through the doors of the club.

"OMG! A zombie!" everyone except the… (cough) mortally immortal said.

"Oh hush! It's not like the first time you've all seen a walking zombie," he said.

"I think it's the fact that he's an Australian zombie," Hsien-ko whispered to Jedah and Lilith.

Raptor spotted Hsien-ko and suddenly ran to her, passing by Morrigan and Demitri.

"Where's he off to in such a hurry?" Morrigan said.

"Hsien-ko! My darling!" he said as he crouched down on one knee and her hand.

"Uh, mind explaining what you're doing?" she asked.

"I'm expressing my inner feelings to you, dear. May you and I have a wonderful life!"

"What the… are you…?"

"I think he's asking for a relationship between you and him," Jedah said.

"Um, thanks for the offer but…"

"Do not deny it dear Hsien-ko. You and I were destined to be," raptor said. ever wonder where he got these words?

"Wait a minute, aren't you gay?" Jedah asked.

"I'm not gay dammit!" he said letting go of Hsien-ko's hand.

"Really? You sure look pretty gay to me."

"For the first and last time, I'm not gay!"

"Really? I can't really tell. It must depend, do you wear earrings?"

"Most rock-stars do."

"And are you a rock-star?"

"Well, technically…"

"Then you are gay."

"Just because I'm a rock star doesn't mean I wear earrings. And just because people who wear earrings doesn't mean they're gay. Girls wear earrings, and I shall so no more."

"Why?"

"Because it'd be very inappropriate to say in front of the girl who I'm permitting a relationship t-" he said as he turned back to Hsien-ko.

But she wasn't there. Raptor thought she left while he was rambling on. He got up and looked around just in time to see a door close.

"HSIEN-KO!" he yelled as he busted through the wall next to the door.

Hsien-ko then came from the bathroom door to see Raptor gone.

"He left already?" she asked, "at least he's out of my hair."

"So, what do we do?" Lilith asked Jedah, feeling bored already.

"Dunno, depends on how traumatized the humans are here."

"There has to be entertainment somewhere in this dump."

"Yeah, something like karaoke or a sing-off or maybe…"

"A slow dance?" Lilith finished.

"…not gonna happen."

Suddenly, a slow song began to play. Jedah heard the ironic timing and gave a death glare to the humans who miraculously didn't have a heart attack after the effects of the undead played inside the club.

"Oh, it's gonna happen," Lilith smiled playfully as she pulled Jedah into the dance floor.

'This is so not worth letting everyone know what I did to that horse,' Jedah thought. (12)

Oh crap! Can Jedah dance? Where is that mountain jaguar selling toy centipedes? I wonder if I can buy one of those toys. Where is Raptor going? And how long will they stay in there until the zombie breakout dies down?

Okay, so you may have noticed the () signs. Well, I wanted to note specific parts of the chapter at the end. Well, here it is!

(1) where'd that cow come from?

(2) Demitri, you nosy.

(3) that guy still hasn't left…

(4) I play and love Marvel vs. Capcom 2 and I always imagine someone calling Sonson chicken noodle. XD

(5) Victor's still stupid…

(6) Got' cha didn't I?

(7) this scenario was from a funny flash I saw on same as above. It's located at but there's a shortcut somewhere on the homepage. The shortcut is somewhere there.

(9) Jill's just correcting Victor…

(10) reread somewhere after (2)

(11) they do live there, right?

(12) Q .bee is bribing Jedah with the picture of something he did on New Year's Eve. That poor horse…

That's all of 'em. I included Jill from 'Resident Evil' because I play Marvel vs. Capcom 2. I love everyone there. And if anyone wants a good explanation of Raptor's…questionable behavior, here's a subchapter.

Q. bee was on the computer one day, looking for a possible Q. bee fan club. She tried to search Google one more time and then saw something. She clicked the link and found herself at about a new game…

"HOLY SHIZZNET!" she yelled.

Everyone in the household heard her astonishing cry and ran to her room, without hr permission. She hates that.

"What happened? I heard screaming. I like screaming," Sasquatch said.

"You guys take a look at this," Q. bee said turning the computer to them.

"It says," B.B. hood read, "Capcom's latest release in Japan has proved a hit among all Marvel vs. Capcom fans."

"We're having another crossover franchise?" Felicia asked, "the people of Marvel all weird me out. And do any of you have any idea of what Sabertooth was doing to me? Constantly hitting on me and making proposition's to be his queen. I still haven't gotten his image out of my mind."

"Actually," Q. bee said, "we're not crossing over with Marvel."

"We-we're not?" everyone in the room said.

"No, we're crossing over with Namco this year."

"Who the hell is Namco?" everyone in the room said at the same time.

"Whoa, that was weird," everyone said…again.

"Whoa, we did it again," they said again.

"Supercalifragilistic expialadocious," they all said.

"Ooooohhhhhh," they 'oo'ed.

"oooookayyy," Q. bee said, weirded out beyond all reason, turning back to her computer.

"It says here we'll be facing various characters from Tekken, Soul Caliber, the Klonoa series, and who knows where."

"Anyone of my interest?" Felicia asked, "'Cause you know how fans tend to pair me up with people based on wildlife tactics," she said turning to Jon.

"Well, there's this guy with a jaguar head for a head named King."

"Really?" she said sounding really interested.

"Yeah, you two meet up on a boat."

"Wait, wait, wait, we'll be facing all these guys?" Rikou asked.

"Not really, we'll have help with guys of Capcom like Street fighter, Megaman, and everyone else."

"Well, I hope Capcom doesn't screw up," Jedah said, "I haven't been in a single crossover match."

"What about Capcom fighting evolution?" Lilith asked.

"A crossover. I knew all of those guys. I just want a good reason for killing people I don't know."

"Uh-oh," Q. bee said.

"What did you say?"

"Um, you're not in it."

"WHAT!"

"You're not in it?"

"GOD! CAPCOM COULDN'T SETTLE FOR THIS ONE! I'VE GOT FANS WAITING FOR ME TO KICK HATED MARVEL AND/OR SNK CHARACTER ASSES AND THEY HOLD ME BACK?"

"Hey, I'm in it!" Q. bee said.

"Hey, I'm in too!" Hsien-ko said closing in.

"And me!" Raptor said.

"I need a bigger fan-base," Jedah said walking away.

"Aww, is Jedah gonna cry?" Lilith teased.

"…a little."

"Hey Lilith, you're in the game as well," Q. bee said.

"SWEET!"

"If no one minds, I'll be in the corner," Jedah said walking away.

"Am I in it?" Morrigan asked.

"Morrigan, we've all seen pictures of you by hentai fans on the net," Q. bee said.

"AHAHAHAH!" Raptor bursted laughing.

"Of course you're in it."

"AH-ho crap."

"What the hell? Q. bee, zoom in on that picture," Hsien-ko said.

She zoomed in and saw a picture of Hsien-ko standing by a few people she doesn't know in front of Raptor with hearts in his eyes; Hsien-ko looked really uninterested in the clip.

"According to the summary, Raptor meets hsien-ko on the boat and falls in love with her, thinking that she's undead like him, and thinking she would love him too," Q. bee read.

"Wait, you're undead?" Raptor asked.

"Um, yeah. Wait, you seem unphased, why?"

"Meh, I haven't really found you interesting at all. Dunno what kind of pot Capcom's been smoking."

"Oh, well, just to be safe," she said getting a bucket of hot tar.

"Come near me with those hearts in your eyes and face the fate the dinosaurs faced before big bad meteo," she said.

"Been there, done that."

"Really? Well, still."

"Got it; personal space."

Well, I got nothin' left to say. You search the web for 'Namco x Capcom' to find a better summary for it. Well, R & R!


	5. Let's get crazy! What are you, crazy?

Thank you all who didn't stop believing in me! (although some did…)

……you know what?

**I'm gonna continue the motherin chapter and finish the motherin story!**

But no, this won't be the last chapter.

After rereading the entire story myself, without adding a hit to my story :P, I realized that these jokes were just plain stupid, unnecessary, and immature. But they don't call it randomnessness for nuttin'. W00t!

The jokes are gonna be a bit mature, but I know what I'm doing. :P

As for a bonus, this chapter is, like freakin' long, so enjoy! W00t!

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Where we left off, Raptor had irresponsibly bursted through the club walls in a no-effort-yet-unnecessary search for Hsien-ko leaving the maintenance to barricade the wall while muttering curses to the zombie rock. Raptor found himself sneezing a few times.

The entire club had to be locked from the inside to prevent any zombies from getting in, which Raptor had forgotten about and found himself fending off against his fans and somehow forgotten about Hsien-ko.

He did get his arm back though. The eardrums…

This was unfortunate though. Jedah, Lilith, Morrigan, and Demitri, and no, I ain't forgetting about Hsien-ko, all had to stay inside the club even though they could just leave the club and risk having a few limbs ripped off on the way home. But they came in disguised as humans; walking outside straight into a zombie mock pit does sound inhuman.

And, in order to look human and act human as well, they had to engage in every activity the DJ insisted upon. And unfortunately for Jedah, the current activity was slow dancing. Jedah will develop a murderous intent for the DJ later on.

Since we got a zombie outbreak, Jill and B.B. hood will be taking care of them…with bulldozers! Bulldozers hoard of zombies. )

And now, back to the story.

With the song already in play, everyone in the club had hooked up with their date and danced along with the music. Well, not everyone, Hsien-ko was busy making the punch since a certain blue messiah had tripped and managed to break everything on the table, even the table! She had to fix everything but she couldn't find the cole slaw. And yeah, she was picking them off the floor.

As the song played, Lilith and Jedah had to keep eye contact because they knew Morrigan was watching them. Normally, Jedah wouldn't care, but he wouldn't hear the end of it from Lilith. So, Lilith would look away (and in between Jedah would shoot death glares to the DJ who miraculously didn't have a heart attack) feeling that a precious moment was coming on had it not been for Jedah's terrible dancing.

Dancing, for Jedah, was one thing, but slow dancing was hell.

"Dammit, when I move back, you move forward," Lilith whispered.

"I know, but you're having the same problem," Jedah shot back.

"You're supposed to know when to move back," she said.

"Dammit, these where my best pair of shoes."

"Who cares about…oh crap they're looking this way. Smile!"

And they did, for that Morrigan was keeping a careful eye on them as she constantly alternated her view from Demitri to them.

"Morrigan? Baby, what's wrong?" Demitri asked.

"I just don't feel right about that guy," Morrigan said.

"Feeling a bit protective for your sister?"

"You could say that. It's just something about that guy that I'm concerned about…"

Lilith then sees that they haven't stopped looking at them. Lilith waves at them as Jedah follows suite.

"Still, I must admit he's a pretty good dancer," Morrigan said, "ow, not on the shoes."

"Sorry."

"You know, Demitri's a pretty good dancer. Wonder if he'll teach me some of those moves…," Jedah said.

"Um, Jedah?" Lilith asked.

"Yep?"

"Um, you do know what we have to do once the song ends right?"

"…I don't follow."

"We'll have to kiss, you know that?"

"Oh, that's reasonable."

'He took that very well,' she thought.

After about two minutes of slow dancing…

"You're serious?"

"What?"

"I said, are you serious?"

"Um, about the kissing thing?"

"Yeah…you weren't kidding?"

"Uh, no."

"AW HELL NO!" he bursted out loud.

This, quite disruptively, ruined a pretty tender moment between everyone in the club.

The last thing Morrigan saw of Lilith was her chasing a pretty pissed "Jeff".

"Heh, that didn't last very long," she said smirking.

"Jedah, what's the big deal? It's just a kiss!" Lilith said as she followed Jedah into an "unoccupied" section of the club.

"'Just' a kiss? Lilith, we never agreed to that!"

"I'm not asking you to, I'm forcing you too!"

"…wait, that was…"

"In reverse, I know, but let's be serious here! I need you to kiss me!"

"…aren't you being a bit…"

"Too desperate, I know, but-"

"Will you stop that?"

"Stop what?"

"Finishing my sentences!"

"Sorry, but…(sigh) alright lemme explain. Morrigan and I were once a soul, right?"

"Yeah I know that."

"We can tell what's happening to each other's body and what happened to them."

"…I'm listening."

"So if I don't get kissed by you, Morrigan will eventually find out that this date was fake."

"You serious!" Jedah said, freaking out.

"Yeah…plus, she-"

"Wait…"

"…what?"

"Is Morrigan a…"

"Virgin? Yeah…"

"Damn…"

"…I know…"

"…hard to believe that she hasn't been-"

"Kiss me now!" Lilith said out loud.

"Absolutely not!"

"Why not?"

"I can't do that!"

"Am I unkissable?"

"It's not that!"

"Then what is!"

"It's not the right mood."

"Mood?"

"Yeah. First kisses always need the perfect-"

"Wait…did you just say…"

"…no I didn't."

"OMG, yeah you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Jedah hasn't even had his first kiss! How pathetic!" at this, Lilith begins to laugh uncontrollably as Jedah enters emotional trauma.

lEt'S pLaY sOmE tEtRiS mOtHeR88eR (Translation: What's happening to Raptor?)

Hmm…I see possibly about a thousand zombies lurking in the streets. Some creepy ones, some rotting ones, some who have no head, oh, and I see some playing lottery tickets. Pretty cool for a zombie.

"Dude, did you win?" one zombie said, who we'll call Joe…Joe Mama!

"No Joe. Fred, did you win?" the other zombie said, who we'll call Tammy, even though he's a boy, or is he?

"Nope, el zilcho," said Fred, who, instead, we'll call him Ted, 'cause it's cool…ed.

"Shouldn't Raptor have came by by now?" Tammy said.

"It's a bit annoying, knowing he might not show up at all," Ted said.

"Dude, look at it this way, would you reveal yourself if you had thousands of fans waiting for you?"

"It's a celebs life," Joe said.

"We did tear his arm off too," said Tammy.

"I was gonna keep his arm too," Joe said.

"If you kept it, Raptor would hate you for life."

"Why would he hate me?"

"…I refuse to answer that."

Speaking of arms, B.B. hood and Jill had arrived at the scene carrying bazookas (teh pwnage) to see a whole bunch of zombies…playing twister.

"What…" B.B. hood said.

"…the…" Jill said.

"…hell?" Jon finished.

"Ahh! Jon! Where'd you come from?" B.B. hood said.

"I don't know. I don't know where I am now. I don't even know what's going on."

"We got a zombie outbreak here and we're here to get rid of them," Jill said.

"I don't even know who she is," Jon replied.

"The point is, we're out here trying to kill of a whole hoard of zombies and if you ain't gonna help, then get outta here," B.B. hood stated.

"…but, they're just playing Twister," Jon pointed.

"Sure, it may LOOK like they're playing twister, but it could also be a meeting discussing their next evil plot!" Jill said.

"GET YOUR ING LEG OUT OF MY ING EYE!" said one zombie.

"You get YOUR eye out of MY leg!" said another zombie…whose name happens to be Betty. :D

"Dude, I can't find my toe!" said another zombie, with one leg.

"…see? They're discussing the matter on disembodied limbs and the like!" Jill said.

"Once someone is missing an arm, things start to get ugly," Shuma Gorath said, "as it ain't ugly enough."

"…"

"…"

"…who the f are you?" Jon said.

"I'm Shuma Gorath, future eye of destruction and desolation."

"Well, what the hell are you doing here? You're Marvel, right?" Jon asked.

"Hey, these girls know me. Sup?"

"Sup." Jill and B.B. hood said.

"No, I mean, why are you here? this is a Darkstalkers fiction," Jon pointed out.

"Darkstalkers did fight Marvel some time ago," Jill said.

"Well, not all of us. Only 4 of us were allowed," B.B. hood said.

"…what are you guys talking about? The only Darkstalker to have fought Marvel was Morrigan," Jon said.

"Didn't you here about Marvel vs. Capcom 2?" Jill asked.

"2?"

"Dude, it's been, like, 3 years," B.B. hood said.

"…and why hasn't anyone told me of this?"

"Didn't Capcom tell you?"

"No…"

"But anyways, that is a good point. What ARE you doing here Shuma Gorath?" Jill asked.

Jon then got attacked by the zombies playing twister because they think he stole an arm, but no one noticed.

"Marvel doesn't have any plans with me at the moment. So I'm just killing some time and a few zombies as well."

"You wouldn't happen to have brought anyone else with you…have you?" B.B. hood asked.

"Hmm…well, I brought Marrow, Blackheart, Venom and…oh, and Sabretooth."

"Good 'cause we need helping killing these…wait, Sabretooth?" B.B. hood asked.

"Yeah, is that a problem? Because considering the whole thing between Sabretooth and Fe-"

"I don't care what you were going to say, as long as I see Birdie again!" B.B. hood squealed.

"Well, where are they?" Jill asked.

"I don't know, but we got here sometime before all this happened," Shuma Gorath said.

"Hello? Heroic werewolf getting attacked by zombies over here!" Jon yelled out loud.

"Jon, was it?" Shuma Gorath said.

"…yeah?"

"You'd better duck," B.B. hood said as she and Jill brought out giant deadly out-of-nowhere guns out of nowhere.

"HOLY SH!" the zombies yelled.

Explosions went as far as the eye can see. Rockets being blasted, zombies moaning in curses, cows catapulting into space, and all Shuma Gorath did was divide and rip the heads off of any zombie that passed by him. Shuma never had so much fun in a long time.

"Damn, it's getting all crazy out there," Raptor said as he lit another cigarette.

Raptor didn't take much effort into hiding. All he had to do was hide in an old abandoned house, since zombies never go into old abandoned houses. And true, Raptor is a zombie, but he's a rock zombie man.

Well, at least he was alone.

"Who the are you?" someone in the dark said.

"Gah, holy crap!" Raptor yelled.

And out of the shadows, Marrow appears.

"What the? It's just a chick!"

"And what do you think you're doing here?" she asked.

"Me? What do you think you're doing here?" he asked back.

"I called this house fair and square, and you ain't gonna-"

"No seriously, what do you think you're doing here? You're Marvel property, and this is Capcom. You guys can't be here."

"…I guess Capcom never told you?"

"Told me what?"

"Never mind" she said "So, you're hiding from those zombies?"

"Well, that, and waiting for the team of desolate destruction to kill them all."

"Who would that be?"

Suddenly, B.B. hood passes by the window on her bulldozer (which is greater than zombies D) while shooting her uzi into the air screaming various unnecessary phrases.

"We're wild and possibly high!"

"That girl…" Raptor said.

Then Jill is seen holding her giant deadly out-of-nowhere gun out of nowhere screaming not to mess with child-friendly euro trash, followed by an explosion.

"…and that girl."

"Yo Marrow. You doing okay?" Shuma Gorath asked as he poked in through the window.

"Eh, never better," she answered as Shuma retreated.

"…and whoever that guy was," Raptor finished.

"I don't know why zombies would suddenly appear out of nowhere. Why would they do that?" Marrow asked herself.

"They're my fans. They tend to cause a riot whenever I'm in town," Raptor said.

"So it's you they're after?" Marrow said sternly.

"…why you lookin' me like that?"

Seconds later, Raptor found himself being hung at the top of the building over the sea of zombies by a stern Marrow.

"Please don't send me back in there! I had just found my arm!" screamed Raptor.

"Better you then me," Marrow said as she dropped Raptor.

As Raptor fell to his fate once more, he thought of this.

'Wait, where's Le Malta?'

mY aSs Is A nEvEr EnDiNg WaTeRfAlL oF bLoOd (Translation: Back to da club!)

"…………"

"…you done laughing?" Jedah asked.

"…..yeah," Lilith said.

"Took you long enough," Hsien-ko said.

"Gah! Hsien-ko! How long have you been standing there?" Jedah asked.

"Long enough. And by long enough, I mean since you guys walked on over here. Lilith, did you know you laughed for about 30 minutes?"

"…no, I did not know I was capable of doing that," she answered.

"Well, while I was listening to you guys talking, I thought that maybe I should try helping you guys out on your 'date'," she said.

"You freakin' serious!" Lilith said.

"Sure. Since Q Bee got involved in this-"

"Actually, she started it," Jedah pointed out.

"Whatever, I'm going to help you guys make this date look as real as possible," she said bringing out a cell phone, the kind that also has a camera.

"…you're not gonna take a picture of us," Jedah said.

"C'mon Jedah, it'll be fun," Lilith said.

"Yeah, it'll be fun," Hsien-ko said, "for me that is," she whispered.

"What's so fun about standing still while someone takes a picture?" Jedah asked.

"…Y'know, you make it sound less enjoyable the way you say it."

"If Morrigan wants proof that this date was real, then you guys need to get into a good pose now," Hsien-ko said.

"Whether you like it or not Jedah, we're gonna take this picture," Lilith whispered as she got into position.

"Whatever, just make it quick," Jedah whispered back as he got into his position.

They waited for, like, an hour, since Hsien-ko was busy trying to access her phone's camera option, but she constantly found herself doing other unimportant things.

"Hold it……hold it……oh, I have a new message! …hold it…hold it…"

"Will you just get on with it!" she yelled.

"Hold on, I just got a sweet offer from PopCap!" she said.

'This is gonna take forever,' Jedah thought, 'or at least 26 minutes.'

But Jedah was wrong. She actually took 27 minutes before she finally found her photo function…and remembered what she was doing.

"Okay, you guys, now get into position," Hsien-ko said.

"Finally. We've been waiting for about 26 minutes," Jedah said.

"Actually, it was 27 minutes," Lilith said.

"Whatever, just take the freaking picture!"

And finally, she took the picture. But, when it came up on screen…

"……"

"What? What's wrong?" Lilith asked.

"Take a look," she said as she sustained her laughter.

On her cell phone, it shows the two holding each other, like they were supposed to, but there was something wrong with the picture.

"I don't see anything wrong with the picture," Jedah said.

"Look closer."

After about 2 minutes of closer inspection…

"I still don't see anything wrong with it."

"Lilith, what do you see in this guy?" Hsien-ko asked.

"You look normal you moron!" Lilith yelled.

"So?" Jedah said.

"No, normal, as in, not like a human, but you look like what you normally look like back in Makai!"

"So?"

"Dude, have you seen yourself lately?" Hsien-ko asked.

"And that is how my sister saw you. If they saw this picture…" Lilith said.

"…then my rep's ruined," Jedah finished.

"Don't worry guys," Hsien-ko said, "I'll make sure no one sees-"

"NO YOU ING WON'T!" they yelled.

"Give me that ing camera!" Jedah yelled.

"I got her Jedah, snatch the phone!" Lilith yelled as she held onto Hsien-ko.

"No! I have about 374 minutes left!" Hsien-ko yelled.

"W00t! Wrestling! I'm putting up my money on the blue girl!" Le Malta yelled.

So that's where he went.

"Dude, I feel so sorry for the blue girl," Blackheart said.

"She was asking for it after all," Venom said.

Then, they all stopped "wrestling" and stared at Blackheart and Venom.

"…why'd they stop?" Le Malta asked.

"I don't know. Is there something on my face?" Blackheart asked.

"I think maybe it's because we-"

However, Venom didn't get to finish his sentence since Morrigan came over and dragged him and Blackheart away by the tongue and tail.

"Noth the thung. Noth the thung!" Venom yelled.

When Morrigan had pulled them to a safe area, she threw the two to the floor in front of her.

"Wow, I sure haven't forgotten her strength," Blackheart said as Venom tried to recoil his tongue.

"What the hell are you two doing here!" Morrigan yelled.

"Well, we were just wandering around trying to-"

"No, I mean what are you guys doing! If you haven't noticed, this is a public club! Don't you see Blackheart is almost as tall as the ceiling?"

"That's weird, no one really paid any attention," Venom said.

"Maybe because they're busy doing that," Blackheart said as he pointed to Le Malta drinking an entire bowl of punch as the people swarmed around him chanting 'Chug! Chug! Chug!'

"Busy doing…?" Hsien-ko asked, but then saw Le Malta.

"Hey! Do you know how long it took me to make that punch!" she yelled as she ran over to stop Le Malta from drowning himself (yeah right).

"That isn't important. You guys need to leave," Morrigan said.

"Well, I got no reason to stay here," Venom said.

"And I guess I don't either…" Blackheart said, "we'll be leaving…"

"Blackheart?" Demitri said.

"…Demitri? Oh man! How long has it been?"

"Wait, you guys know each other?" Morrigan asked.

"Of course! We were childhood friends, weren't we Demitri?" Blackheart asked.

"Yeah! Can't believe I never told you Morrigan," Demitri said.

"How long was it since Marvel started working with Capcom?" Morrigan asked herself.

"Yo Morrigan, where do you guys live?" Venom asked.

"…why?"

"I haven't seen Anakaris in a long time. He was really fun to talk to. Plus, he made some damn good cookies, and-"

"He still owes you money, doesn't he?"

"Yep."

"Down the street and around the corner."

"The one with the mountain jaguar selling toy centipedes?"

"Yeah."

"Got it."

"Yo Jedah," Lilith whispered to Jedah as they watched Hsien-ko attempting to pull the punchbowl out of Le Malta's mouth.

"What?" Jedah said.

"Let's sneak out of the club."

"Are you crazy?" Jedah asked, still whispering.

"No. we can take on some zombies, can we?"

"But wouldn't your sister think otherwise?"

"Look, I know as well as you know that we don't wanna keep this date going on any longer. So, let's just sneak out of here and call it a night."

"No. It's too risky. Our only hope is that B.B. hood and Jill kill all the zombies so we can be on our way."

"But there's like, thousands of them."

"Then call them to hurry up!"

"Ok, but what's B.B. hood's phone number?"

"I think it's 1-800-DIEPLZKTHX."

To all you diehard B.B. hood fans, that would be 1-800-343-759-5849.

bE pRePaReD tO dIe! bUt fIrSt SnAcK tImE. (Translation: Speaking of which…)

"I'll be pwning zombies with my bulldozer! I'll be pwning zombies with my bulldozer! I'll be pwning zombies here and there, they plead for mercy and I don't care. I just pwned a zombies with my bulldozer!" B.B. hood sang as she pwned zombies with her bulldozer. They pled for mercy, but she didn't care. :)

"Nice song," Jill said.

"Thanks. My father-"

RING! RING! Her phone rang.

"Oh! Hold on…B.B. here, whaddya want? ………yeah, we're working as fast as we can. ……sure, I'll be sure to try that. …oh? Wait, why? ….O RLY? …YA RLY! …huh, never knew that…okay, I'll be sure to try that too! Love ya mom!"

"Who was that?" Jill asked.

"Mom just wanted-"

RING!

"Oh crap, I got another caller…B.B. here. …well, duh! Whaddya think we're doing! …O RLY? Nuwayy! …WTF? …U SUX! …YA RLY! ……JAY! …FTW……lol…rofl. JOO (4\ D0 4\/ 33TT3R!1!1 ……K THX! BYE!"

"…and who was that?" Jill asked.

"Wrong number."

"What the hell were you talking about!"

"See, what happened was-"

RING!

"Uh, son of a- WHADDYA WANT?"

"Geez B.B. Hood! Calm down!" Lilith said.

"Oh, sorry. Just a bit agitated…how did you get my phone number?"

"That doesn't matter. Are you guys even halfway done yet?"

"Sorry, no. these zombies won't stay put. No matter how many times we run them over."

"Get the hell away from me you zombie!" Jill said as she bitch slapped a zombie away, which caused it to lose it's head.

"Hey B.B. hood! I found out there weakness! Without there heads, they're powerless!" Jill said.

"We just found out there weakness. The wipeout should start progressing smoothly," B.B. hood said.

"Well hurry up! This date can't stand any longer," Lilith said.

"Date? Lilith, are you dating Jedah?" B.B. hood asked.

"………BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" the phone line went.

"Oh well, best start bashing heads," Jill said as she brought out a shovel.

"Then I'm gonna have to change the lyrics to my-"

However, B.B. hoods line was cut short, since former rock star Lord Raptor fell right on top of her.

"…I'm alive, um, a little bit?" Raptor asked himself.

"More like, soon to be in pieces!" B.B. hood muffled from under him.

Raptor then got off and sat behind B.B. hood on her bulldozer.

"Wait B.B. hood. If he's what these zombies are after, then we can take these zombies out in one fell swoop!"

"I still won't forgive you for almost rocket blasting me," Raptor said.

"I know…"

"Wait, a while ago, Raptor was thrown off a building," B.B. hood stated, "how the hell could he have landed right here?"

"Who cares? I'm here, aren't you happy?" he asked.

"No."

"Look, everyone wants to get rid of these zombies, right?"

"So what ideas do you have?" Jill asked.

"Do you know the weakness to a zombie?"

"Yeah, without their heads, they're powerless," B.B. hood said.

"And these zombies want me, right?"

"We don't follow," Jill and B.B. hood said.

"Well, first we-"

However, Raptor was cut short since a green Tentacle came out of the zombie pit and held onto Raptor's throat.

"What the hell were you guys thinking leaving me behind like that!" Shuma Gorath yelled.

"Stop…choking me!" Raptor said.

"But you're a zombie, you won't die like that," Jill said.

"I still feel pain…GAH!"

"Just get on already Shuma!" B.B. hood said.

Shuma Gorath stopped choking Raptor and got on Jill's bulldozer as Raptor tried to regain his breath.

"…okay, as I was saying, since these guys are my fans, they'd want my autograph, right?"

"I think I get what you're saying," Jill said, "you give these guys autographs on their heads, but they'll have to take off their heads so you can sign it. But, once they take it off, they'll be dead, right?"

"Actually, I was thinking to have them rip off their arms and legs leaving them immobilized as we dump their bodies in the ally, but I like your idea better!"

"But how are we gonna get rid of the leftover bodies?" B.B. hood asked.

"I already have the answer to that," Raptor said, "so all we have to-"

But once again, Raptor's sentence was cut short since a gray claw came and grabbed him by the neck.

"Did you guys just FORGET about me like that!" Jon said as he climbed onto the bulldozer.

"Sorry Jon, we just forgot about you, that's all," B.B. hood said, "now, would you mind letting go of Raptor's neck? He kinda wasn't done talking."

Jon then let go of Raptor's neck, with his anger relieved, as Raptor once again took in his air.

"I wish people would start targeting my neck like some kind of ladder bar. Now, this is what we have to do…"

4 minutes later…

"Get your autographs here!" Jill yelled as she waved two flashlights in her hand.

"Please pay 5 dollars," Jon said, wearing a white tuxedo with black glasses holding a small tray of 5 dollar bills out to a zombie waiting in line.

"5 dollars! Why 5 bucks?" The zombie, who we named Joe Mama, asked.

"Sorry dude, but the fee is 5 bucks. Now pay up."

As the zombie paid, B.B. hood walked up to Jon.

"Uh, Jon, we weren't intending on any profit at all," she said.

"Well, I ain't complaining."

"Well, sure it might-"

Jon then grabbed a bundle of money from the tray and handed it to B.B. hood, who snatched it immediately.

"I ain't complaining either."

"So, what's your name?" Raptor asked.

"Joe Mama," the zombie said.

"………hey that's funny. Now seriously, what is your name?"

"Joe Mama."

"…Look, if you're gonna be like that, then you might as well get the hell out of my face."

"But seriously, my name is Joe Mama. My first name's Joe, and my last name is Mama."

"…hope your middle name isn't Fat. Okay, now take off your head so I can sign it."

"Sure."

So, the zombie took his head off…and then died. It fell to the floor with a traditional body-hits-floor-in-humorous-manner type of sound. Raptor stares at the fallen body for a while.

"…B.B. hood….B.B. hood!"

B.B. hood was a bit busy smelling the income of her newfound hobby.

"B.B. hood!"

"…wha? Oh hold on. I'm savoring a moment here…" she inhales the smell of said money once more.

"B.B. hood!"

"Alright! I'll get to it! Geez, be patient would you?" she said as she put her money in her pocket, grabbed a broom and swept the body away over to a pile of more dead bodies.

"Next!" Raptor yelled.

"Here ya go Shuma. Got more," she said.

"Good," he said as he tossed more bodies into the wormhole he created.

"Where exactly does that lead to?" she asked.

"Who cares?"

lEt"s SeE wHaT'S gOiNg On At tHe HoUsE (Translation: Hold still while I try to set you on fire with my mind) …wtf?

Back at the house, Sasquatch is currently trying to knit.

"…what the hell are you looking at?" he said.

Well, it is a pretty awkward site.

"Yo Donovan, how many snakes does it take to pillage treasure?" Victor asked.

"…um, what would snakes want with treasure? They're just snakes," he said.

"…well, you got a point. But then again, people are scared of snakes, so no one would go near the treasure if there are snakes."

"…so, you're trying to say that it would take a whole hoard of snakes to scare away people guarding the treasure?"

"Yeah, so it wouldn't take so many snakes to do the job. HAHAHAH!" he laughed.

"Victor, you are an idiot," Anita said.

"Hey! Shut yer friggin mouth!" Victor yelled.

Anita then started to cry.

"Hey! Don't blame the sad girl!" Donovan defended.

"They never blame the sad girl," Anita whispered to herself.

"Whatever," Victor said.

"Victor, would it kill you to just shut up for a minute or two?" Rikou asked.

"…Yo Phobos, how long has it been since Rikou last rehydrated?" Victor asked.

"APPROXIMATELY 2 HOURS AND 34 MINUTES," Phobos said.

"Tch, I'm way ahead of ya," Rikou said as he jumped into the fountain.

"…dude, wasn't that in the park?"

"Who said it had to stay in the park?" Rikou asked.

Victor looks outside to see pipes squirting water where the fountain should've been.

"Dude, you're gonna get sued by the city, you know that?"

"Hey, ever since Anakaris clogged the toilets, not to mention the rest of the waterline, I need an alternate source of water. I don't wanna have to keep going in and outside to refresh every three hours, do I?"

"…I guess not, but you'll need to hook it up to a waterline to get it running."

"Running water, still water, it's still freaking water!"

"I've noticed a change in your intellect Victor," Donovan said.

"Yeah, I've noticed that too," Rikou said.

"Me too," Q Bee said.

"Q Bee, where have you been?" Donovan asked.

"In my room watching Seinfeld with Sasquatch. For some reason he's taken an interest to knitting."

"But I got nothing to knit," Sasquatch said.

"Well, try practicing sowing together different things," Victor said.

"…okay."

Then there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it," Victor said.

He opened the door, inexplicably failing to remember the fact that there where still zombies roaming outside.

"Hey, you're not the pizza guy," Victor said.

"And I've never seen you in my life," Venom said as he walked inside.

"Who the hell are you?" Q Bee asked.

"This is perfect!" Sasquatch yelled in the background as everyone noticed.

"…as I was saying, who the hell are you!"

"I'm Venom. Haven't you guys heard of me?"

"No, and if Capcom had something to do with you, then we would've heard about you," Donovan said.

"So, Capcom didn't tell you?"

"Tell us about what?"

"Marvel vs. Capcom 2…nothing?"

"Marvel…vs. Capcom 2?" Victor said, "there was a 2!"

"Well, Anakaris would've told you. Speaking of which, where is he?" Venom asked.

"He's in the bathroom right now," Q bee said, feeling full of disrespect thanks to Capcom.

"I guess I should leave him alone then…"

"Actually, I think he needs help getting out," Rikou said.

"Why? He stuck or something?" Venom asked.

"In a way…"

"WILL SOMEONE SPARE 2 MINUTES OF THERE FREE TIME AND HELP ME GET OUT OF THIS ING TOILET!" Anakaris yelled from the bathroom.

"…O.O Guess I'd better go help him," Venom said.

"Yo Phobos, you got a database on that Venom dude?" Rikou asked.

"ORIGIN OF SUBJECT NOT FOUND IN DATABASE. HOWEVER, TRACE AMOUNTS HAVE BEEN FOUND," Phobos said.

"So, what do we know about him?"

"SUBJECT BEARS CONSTANT RIVALRY WITH ANOTHER SUBJECT. SUBJECT ALSO HAD ENCOUNTERED OTHER CHARACTERS WITHIN THIS UNIVERSE."

"I think he's talking about Marvel vs. Capcom…the first one," Q Bee said.

"Actually, Venom did appear in Marvel vs. Capcom, but that was the 3rd installment. It was his first debut actually," the zombie said.

"…a zombie?" Rikou asked.

"I thought you barricaded the north walls Rikou," Victor said.

"Unless Victor forgot to barricade the south walls," Donovan said.

"No, I'm sure I did. Did you finish barricading the west wall Donovan," he asked.

"He did, I checked," Q Bee said, "and Phobos helped me barricade the east wall."

"So where the hell did HE came from?" Rikou asked.

"That's not right man," the zombie said, "we zombies have every right to-"

The zombie, unfortunately, had died. The cause? Unknown. Maybe because it suffered a massive blow from Rikou's attack, but we're still investigating on the real cause.

"God, didn't wanna hear anymore of that," Rikou said.

"His head came off pretty easily though," Q Bee said.

"His neck has stitches," Donovan said as he inspected the head, "like it was sowed on…"

"Sasquatch," everyone said.

They all walked over to where Sasquatch went, ignoring the grunts that came from the bathroom followed by a 'Pull harder' then an 'I'm trying' then a 'well try harder' and finally an 'I'm trying as hard as I can!'

"Okay Sasquatch," Rikou said as he opened the door, "time to tellllluuaahhhh!"

Before them was a huge mountain of zombies. But all of them had missing heads. Sasquatch was squatting down with a needle thread and two halves of a zombie.

"Sasquatch, what the hell are you doing?" Q Bee asked.

"I'm practicing my sowing! These zombies are still alive, so I decided to sow them back!" Sasquatch said.

"Dude, what the hell!" one zombie…more like one of the two zombies said.

"Sorry guys, I guess I got carried away when sowing."

"Dude, look at us, we're two headed zombies! We should be thanking you, 'cause this rox!"

"…can we kill them now?" Rikou asked.

"Where are all these zombies coming from?" Donovan said.

"ACCORDING TO MY SENSORS, THEY INDICATE A WROMHOLE IN THE SPACE-TIME FLUX," Phobos said.

"They've been pretty much falling through that there hole in the wall," Sasquatch said, pointing to a hole in the wall.

"…the hell?" Q Bee said as she flew over to the hole.

Once she got there she decided to put her head through the hole. Where she wounded up…

"For the last time, the fee is 5 dollars," Jon said.

"But I don't have any money," the zombie, who we named Tammy, said.

"If you ain't gonna pay, then get the hell out of here bub."

"My name is Tammy for your information."

Jon the snickered, sustaining his laughter.

"That's a girl's-"

"I know, but I like Tammy better," he said as he left.

"…anyway, next in line."

"Please take off your head so I can sign it," Raptor said.

But instead of a head, the zombie named Ted, gave the undead rock star an arm…ed.

"…um, can you give me your head instead?" Raptor said.

"My name is Ted and I don't want my head to be signed……ed. I think it's much better if you sign my arm because I won't be able to see my autograph."

The rest of the zombies realize this, and then began to hand him various limbs.

"Sign my arm too!"

"Sign my leg!"

"Sign my crotch!"

"Crap! This wasn't part of the plan!" Jill said.

"What do we do?" B.B. hood asked.

"Well, don't look at me. I'm just sending these bodies to another dimension," Shuma Gorath said.

"Oh? And what dimension would that be?" Q Bee asked.

"HOLY CRAP! Q BEE!" B.B. hood yelled.

"What are you doing in that hole?" Jon asked.

"What the hell do you think you're doing sending dead zombies into our house!"

At this, B.B. hood and Jon then stare angrily at Shuma Gorath.

"Our HOUSE!" they both said.

"You mean all this time you've been warping decimated zombie limbs into our house!" B.B. hood yelled.

"I should kill you right now where you stand, you blithering idiot!" Jon yelled.

Panicked, Shuma Gorath closed off the warp hole leaving Q Bee alone with Victor, Sasquatch, Donovan, Anita, Phobos, and a whole pile of zombies.

"Great, now what do we do with these zombies?" Q Bee said.

"Hey guys, I finally got Anakaris out of the toilet," Venom said as he brought in Anakaris, "it was really hard considering no one bothered to help."

Anakaris then sees the pile of zombies.

"Venom?"

"Yeah Anakaris?"

"Put me down."

And he did.

"Oh my god! I can't believe it!" Anakaris yelled.

"Believe what? It's just a pile of rotting flesh," Q Bee asked.

"Don't be like that Q Bee. You guys planned this didn't you?"

The rest of them were, like, WTF?

"This is such a wonderful birthday present!"

"Hard to believe he still remembers his birthday," Victor whispered to Donovan.

"You guys kept me busy by stuffing me into a toilet just so you could prepare this mountain of exotic flesh. I can't believe you guys would go so far, and for me."

"ooooooookay, Anakaris, WTF?" Venom said.

"All this flesh I've always wanted so I could continue my reign as an emperor."

"What the hell is he talking about?" Sasquatch whispered to Q Bee.

"I dunno, but as long as he's claiming this crap, it ain't my problem," Q Bee whispered back.

"And now to claim my rightful gift," he said as he opened up a hole in the floor and the mountain slowly sank into a light abyss.

EVERYONE: O.O'

"I'll just send this back to Egypt so that my servants can harvest upon this wondrous flesh."

Then, everyone starts to leave the room.

"I am out of here," Q Bee said.

"Big waste of time," Victor responded.

"I did not need to see that," Donovan said.

"They'll never blame the sad girl," Anita repeated.

"At least we got rid of that mountain," Rikou muttered.

"I didn't get to finish practicing my knitting," Sasquatch complained.

"TECHINCALLY, YOU WERE SOWING LIFE," Phobos hummed.

"You still owe me money Anakaris," Venom said as he left the room.

"Whatever," Anakaris responded.

OMFGWTFROFLOL (Translation: Shuma Gorath is still in trouble.)

"What the hell were you thinking?" Jon yelled.

"You should've chosen a landfill or Chicago or something!" B.B. hood yelled.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know you guys lived there," Shuma Gorath said.

"You could've checked at least!"

"Fine, I'll choose a different dimension then," he said as he opened up another portal.

"Where will this one go?" Jon asked.

"I don't know, but just throw something in there and see what happens."

"Ok," B.B. hood said as she threw a zombie head into the portal.

Moments passed, and nothing came back out.

"See? I'm pretty sure it's safe to dump the rest of the zombies in there."

"Hey there Smithy!" the zombie head, who came back out the portal, said, with a feminine voice, oddly.

"AH! HOLY CRAP!" the three yelled.

"Let there be hell upon the weak and merciless. MWAHAHAH!" it yelled.

"…wow, that must've been the most daunting thing I've ever seen," Shuma Gorath said.

"Hold on, lemme try!" some voice beyond the portal said.

"Hey, I know that voice…"

"I will swallow your soul! DEAD BY DAWN! DEAD BY DAWN!" it said in the same voice from before.

"Blackheart? What're doing?" Shuma Gorath said.

Blackheart's head then comes out of the hole.

"This zombie head came out of nowhere," he said.

Then, Le Malta pops out of the hole as well.

"That girl can really play puppets!" he said.

"Le Malta!" Raptor said, "where the hell have you been!"

"I followed you to the dance club, but you left without warning."

Then, Hsien-ko's head pops out of the hole.

"Yo Blackheart, can I have the head back now?"

"…HSIEN-KO!" Raptor yelled.

"Huh? Holy crap!"

"Hsien-ko, I thought I lost you my love. I thought I would never find you again!" Raptor said, kneeling on one foot.

"Actually, for the past hour, you've been signing the heads of zombies who were stupid enough to remove their heads, killing them," Jill said.

"Don't remind me…but now I remember! Hsien-ko, let's be together again!"

"…CLOSE THE ING PORTAL NOW!" she yelled.

"DON'T LEAVE ME, MY LOVE!" he yelled, in an attempt to jump into the portal.

But, he wasn't quick enough and ended up falling to the floor.

"…she left you," Jon said.

"I can see that."

"Raptor! Raptor! Raptor!" the zombies began to riot.

"Crap! Plan B!" B.B. hood said.

"We never got around to preparing Plan B," Shuma Gorath said.

"Then what do we do?" Jon asked.

"For now, let's hide in that old abandoned house," Raptor said.

"Why?" Le Malta, who stayed with them, asked.

"Because zombies hate old abandoned houses!"

"Makes sense," they all agreed as they ran inside.

"Dammit, I claimed this house!" Marrow cursed, "guess I better teach those guys a lesson."

"That was……SACRY!" Hsien-ko said.

"That zombie dude giving you a hard time?" Blackheart asked.

"'Cause I'd teach that meddlesome punk a lesson and send him back where he came from," the zombie head in Blackheart's hand said as Blackheart laughed.

"….alright, give me back my zombie head," Hsien-ko said.

"No!"

"I found him first!"

"It's mine!"

"Geez Blackheart, fighting over a zombie head like a toy?" Demitri said.

"Well, if that's the way you want it," Blackheart said, letting go of the head, "keep it. I don't want it."

"…cool. Now I'm gonna go buy some bubblegum," she said as she left.

"No wait, I was just kidding!"

"What children," Demitri said as he saw Blackheart tackle Hsien-ko.

"ATTENTION EVERYONE, ATTENTION," the speakers spoke, "THE ZOMBIE OUTBREAK IS DYING DOWN. IT STILL ISN'T SAFE FOR YOU TO GO OUTSIDE, BUT IF YOU HAVE, LIKE, SOME KIND OF MAGICAL FIGHTING POWER TO DEFEND YOURSELF, THEN FEEL FREE TO LEAVE."

At this, everyone in the club had left, thankfully.

"DAMN, HAD NO IDEA."

O RLY?

"Finally, we're outside," Lilith said.

"Now we can finally end this date," Jedah said.

"But you two haven't even kissed yet, have you?" Morrigan said from behind.

"AH! HOLY CRAP!" the two said.

"You can't end a date properly without a kiss, can you?" Demitri said.

'Damn, Lilith wasn't kidding,' Jedah thought.

"We'll leave you two alone for the time being, but if I don't feel Lilith's kiss, then that would mean this whole date was a setup wasn't it?" Morrigan said.

'Damn, she REALLY wasn't kidding!'

As they left, for god knows where, Lilith turned to Jedah.

"See? I told you I wasn't kidding!" she said.

"I know, I know, I saw it for myself."

"What do we do now? We had a deal, remember?"

"We have no choice then…" Jedah said.

"We have to do it…" Lilith said.

"We have to kiss……"

"God dammit! I found it first!" Hsien-ko said.

"But you gave it to me, remember?" Blackheart said.

"I only lent it to you!"

"And I'm still using it."

"Until I found out how cool it was, so gimme!"

"Never!"

"You son of a bitch!"

(A/N) :O R & R!


	6. For the last time, it's not a date!

I really needed to get back to finishing this story. I can't just quit now, can I? Luckily, I ain't out of ideas…if that was what you're thinking… Anyway, before we start this chapter, let's ask everyone how they feel about this chapter.

Raptor: Well, for one, you made me look like a total moron in front of Hsien-ko. She plays with a zombie head for God's sake. Though I wouldn't mind if she played with my head…I mean…crap. Get that camera out of my face!

Hsien-ko: I can honestly say I'm just being myself. Other than the fact that I'm whining over a zombie head that I can just simply find at a graveyard or in Capcom's storage room or the supermarket. Did you know they're having a three-for-one sale now? Anyway, I'd still find myself mortal enemies with Blackheart if I were to meet him, but it's not like he's the prince of darkness or something, right? Right?

Blackheart: Well, I wasn't in the fic for a while 'til recently. But I rarely get to see zombies. I didn't expect to be so entranced by a zombie head. Puppets are so fun! And I should know. However, I had finally met the Darkstalkers for once. I've heard some good things and not so good things. But meeting only three doesn't exactly count. (I don't consider B.B. hood a Darkstalker…) I still remember that one night I had with Morrigan back then…so, when do we start the interview? ………oh.

B.B. hood: Considering that I'm a Darkhunter, I just gotta do something about these zombies roaming around town. With Jill by my side, we still have a tough time getting rid of them. The fool-the-zombies-into-ripping-their-heads-off-so-that-they-will-die-and-tossing-their-bodies-into-a-different-dimension plan would've worked had we even thought of what dimension we would be tossing them. Shuma Gorath was throwing them into our house! That moron, I'll kill that six-legged, one-eyed, freaktapus! …oh, and if you're wondering why I don't kill the other Darkstalkers, Capcom made me sign this treaty to "not hurt the property of Capcom". I didn't hear the end of it from Captain Commando when I accidentally tossed Rikou into a tub of acid. How was I supposed to know that was there? Heh.

Jill: I'm back to zombie hunting. With an experienced bounty hunter and a pair of bulldozers, we should have no problem dealing with the zombie infestation. But these guys just keep coming out of nowhere. Supposedly, they're all fans of Lord Raptor, a zombie guitarist famous for his concerts in the underworld. …what? Oh wait, this is an interview? Aw #$&!

Shuma Gorath: To those of you who don't know, this is rather the first time I've been introduced into a fanfiction. What I have to say is, where's the love? I thought I was popular enough to make it back to Marvel vs. Capcom 2… what? The whole thing included every Marvel character? Even Marrow? …what, the #$&? Still though, it's pretty nice, considering I've got a gun-bearing bounty hunter girl and a werewolf watching my every move. I just have problems warping dimensions in other dimensions I'm unfamiliar with. Like throwing zombie remains into their house was a big deal. I'm sure someone has taken care of that mess. Either way, my purpose was to bring the mentioned Marvel characters into the fic via dimension travel. I wonder if they're having a hard time than I am. …though I still remember that one night I had with Morrigan back then. So when do we start the interview? ……oh crap.

Marrow: Go away! (Breaks the camera)

Donovan: …and this is gonna prove…what?

Phobos: I AM A ROBOT. BEEP. WHO WANTS A MOLOTAV?

Rikou: I ain't exactly proud. I had ripped a whole fountain from the park and brought it back to our home so I can keep wet. That's pretty much the most interesting I've done in the whole fic. Then again, Capcom did kill me off in the anime. No one likes me…I'm gonna go help Anakaris make cookies! (walks away crying)

Anakaris: Man, I was in a toilet for over 4 hours and no one even bothered to help me. Well, except for Venom, but I still owe him money after that one night…want a cookie?

Anita: They'll never blame the sad girl…also, I hear Morrigan has been dating Demitri, but spends her other nights looking through the phonebook trying to contact Shuma Gorath's number. These nights, she looks through the "Dimensional Traverse and Hotline Telephony" phonebook. The numbers are endless.

Victor: I was brainless for the first two chapters, how do you think I feel?

Morrigan: I find the story thoroughly plotted out. It's going pretty well, and there are zombies in it! Zombies' people! Anyway, I can't help but notice how many zombie hate jokes there are in the story. But it's not a big deal. I mean, zombies aren't people anymore, right?

Demitri: I can't help but feel a bit out of character here. I mean, the anime fitted me perfectly! But these kinds of fanfiction can't be helped. I guess while I'm at it I'm gonna go dance around that sombrero on the ground while singing Don't Stop Me Now by some people.

Sasquatch: All I have to say is, it's about time I got introduced. A little fanality wouldn't hurt. I mean, some fiction dedicated to me isn't too much. I guess…OMG! A banana!

Q Bee: The story is good and all, but the crossover with Marvel was unexpected. Even though some Capcom fans have probably heard of Marvel vs. Capcom 2, the crossing was a bit out of fantasy. I mean, Venom keeps playing me into those webs of his. FOR THE LAST TIME VENOM, IT ISN'T FUNNY!

Venom: WELL, I'D LIKE TO…HOLD ON (VENOM TURNS OFF THE caps lock). Now, as I was saying. I'd like to note that I've had a troublesome time talking to Q Bee. Ever since I played that web trick on her, she's been ignoring me and saying that it wasn't funny every time I mention the prank. But seriously, Q Bee in a spider's web. It's too funny. Other than that, we get along fine. There won't be a friendly connection between us until later in the fic. I managed to sneak into the author's file and discovered the end of the fic. See, Jedah-

BLASPHEMY!

(Screen goes black)

(screen goes back on and we see the author)

Sorry, folks. Venom won't trouble you anymore. Now that that's taken care of, we can finally return to the fic.

Jedah: whoa, whoa, whoa. What about us?

Lilith: yeah. I thought we would talk or something.

Guys, this really isn't the time.

Jedah: All the other freaks got their rant. When do we get ours?

Lilith: Yeah!

All you guys are gonna do is rant and whine. Who wants to hear the stars of the fic complain and beg for their release?

Jedah: Our chains are getting a bit uncomfortable.

Lilith: I'm used to it.

We had a contract. Do this and the other fic and you guys are free.

Jedah: There's gonna be a sequel?!

Lilith: Yay! I get to be in chains longer!

…………

Jedah: …………

Lilith:……I mean…that sucks!

Nevertheless, you guys are still gonna do another fic after this-

Jedah: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

…which happens after the fic in chronology-

Jedah: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

While you guys relax in luxury.

Jedah: NNOOOO FU- what?

Yup. No more chains. You guys will be resting in perfect luxury, the finest an author can get with his l33t powers.

Lilith: YAY!

Jedah: Sounds cool, I guess.

Although, you two will have to share the same bed.

Jedah & Lilith: WHAT?!

Sorry. It was the only one left.

Jedah: YOU'RE PURE EVIL MAN! PURE EVIL!

Lilith: I'D RATHER WORK AS A WINDOW CLEANER THAN THAT!

We've kept the readers waiting long enough. Enjoy.

(lol i had mo4e fun +yp1ng t3h 1n+3r\/13\/\/$)

From where we left off, the zombie outbreak had died down enough for the people to leave the club. We soon discover, however, that there's a physical link between Morrigan and Lilith. Meaning that if Jedah doesn't kiss Lilith, Morrigan will find out that the date was a fake. On a side note, Morrigan is a virgin. Who knew?

Jill and B.B. hood's plan to kill off all of the zombies failed. At the moment, they are hiding in an old abandoned house that, unaware to them, has been 'claimed' by Marrow. Will they clash with the Bone Mutant in an honorable battle to the death or will Marrow kick them out leaving them to the zombies? I've got $10 on Marrow!

But instead! …we'll go to the Darkstalker household and see what everyone is up to.

"What a night," Q Bee said as she sat in front of the TV next to Sasquatch and Venom watching Seinfeld.

Sasquatch was knitting so he didn't pay much attention. Venom was looking to see if what he just saw on Seinfeld just happened and Q Bee was apparently in another one of her 'mind lockdowns'. She does that a lot. Donovan was in the kitchen making himself a sandwich, Anita was holding a can of cola, Anakaris was trying his best to distance himself from Anita at all costs, and Victor was playing Minesweeper on the computer in the middle of the living. How does one expect privacy with that thing there?

Then unexpectedly, someone knocks on the door.

"Oh, who could THAT be?" Victor said, getting up to get the door.

"Now before I ask who the hell are you, I wanna know…" Victor said as he opened the door, "…who the hell are you?"

"Sabretooth, last time I checked," Sabretooth said.

"It's about time you got here Sabretooth," Venom said, "things were getting boring pretty quickly with this girl here," he said pointing to Q Bee.

Q Bee got up, ignoring the 'comment', and went to the kitchen while Sasquatch, Victor, and Donovan, with a BLT in his hand, stared at Sabretooth oddly, with the exception of Anakaris.

"So, is Felicia home?" he asked.

"Uh, I think she's in her room or something," Donovan stated.

"Hey guys," Felicia, out of nowhere, said, "I just came out so that you'll know-"

As soon as she spotted Sabretooth, she immediately ran up to him and hugged him.

"OMG, I can't believe you're here!" she said.

"I said I was gonna visit sometime, remember?" Sabretooth said.

Sasquatch, Donovan, Q Bee, with a bowl off pizza rolls, Venom, Anakaris, and yes, even Anita, stared at the two oddly.

"What's going on?" Sasquatch whispered to Anakaris.

"Ugh, another one of B. Murders fics where Sabretooth and Felicia hook up." Anakaris said.

"What do you mean? I thought Sabretooth was Marvel. Where would he get such an idea?"

"He thought about it after playing Marvel vs. Capcom 2 for a while." Anakaris said bluntly.

Sasquatch blinked a couple of times and turned to Anakaris. "There was a 2?!"

Anakaris simply looked to Sasquatch with a half-lit face of no-surprise.

"How'd you get here anyway?" Felicia asked.

"Well, me and the other guys had a break so-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. 'Other guys'?"

"Uh, yeah. Me, Venom, Marrow, Blackheart, and Shuma Gorath are here."

"So, the streets are roaming with a bone spurting mutant, a six tentacle one eyed freak, a Hell lord demon of darkness, and a symbiotic monster…"

"Hey!" Venom responded to the comment.

"…are roaming the streets?"

"Actually, zombies are." Sabretooth said pointing to outside.

There, zombies were walking by moaning and stuff.

"Uhhhhh…"

"Groooooaaaannnnn!"

"I like pie!"

Moaned, the zombies.

"Why are these zombies walking around?" Felicia asked.

"Dunno. We got here before all this happened."

"Someone should clean this mess…"

"Actually, B.B. hood and Jill were supposed to handle it," Q Bee said "but I don't know what happened…"

"Hey Felicia, we don't have much time here. Can you help me find the others?" Sabretooth asked.

"How would I help?"

"Well, Shuma Gorath and Blackheart have some catching up to do with Morrigan and you might have an idea as to where to find them."

Felicia pondered for a moment.

"Okay, since this is a one night shot," she said as she walked outside with Sabretooth.

"Wow, the author is practically pushing those two together," Donovan said, who soon after was struck by lightning, "…ow"

"Great, now I'm stuck here with 3 losers and whatever the hell Venom is supposed to be," Q Bee said, watching Sabretooth and Felicia walk into town, with Sabretooth punching a zombie along the way.

And now, we go see what the gang is up to…uh, the one with the red psycho.

But first, I wanna play with a Pixter. :D

"Anyone got any other ideas?" B.B. hood said.

"No," said Jonathan.

"But, what are we gonna do about her?" Raptor said, pointing to Marrow.

"Another friend of yours?" Jonathan asked.

"Yeah," replied B.B. hood and Jill.

"First of all, I claimed this house. Second of all, you guys aren't allowed. Third of all, hi B.B. an' Jill," she said waving to B.B. hood and Jill, "and lastly, you three aren't allowed here."

"Wait, why do the girls get to stay here?" Raptor said, "…ohhhhhhh. I get it."

Raptor and his smart mouth were deliberately beaten by Marrow's club, B.B. hood's basket and Jill's rocket launcher afterward. The rocket launcher was out of ammo btw.

"Well, that's one down…" Jon said staring at Raptor's defiled corpse.

"After seeing their strength I really don't wanna screw up around them again," Shuma Gorath said.

"Back to the subject at hand, how are we going to kill all of those zombies?" Jill said.

"Why don't we throw Raptor's body out there and let them have it. I mean, that's why they're here, right?" Marrow said.

"You really think that zombie fans would be happy if they see Raptor's body like this?" B.B. hood asked.

"They were happy with his arm," Marrow pointed out.

"Yeah but only if they're the ones causing permanent subtractions to his body."

"OMG! That one was the funniest thing I've ever heard! HAHAHAH!" Jon yelled.

Everyone stared at him as he stopped laughing.

"……okay."

"Yo Shuma, can't you destroy these guys in a single blast?" Marrow asked.

"One: my powers aren't as strong as they were back in my dimension. Two: I can't _kill _zombies. They're out of my league," Shuma Gorath said.

"Is that what makes zombies so awesome?" B.B. hood asked.

"Oh yeah," Raptor said returning to subconscious-ness and lighting a cigar.

"You still alive?"

"Well, what about sending them into another dimension?" Marrow asked.

"Well, you'd have to be specific as to what dimension. Besides, my teleportation powers aren't as powerful here. Who am I, Blackheart? We'll need some kind of ultimate weapon for that job!"

At this, everyone had a look of thunk -ing -ness and then a sneaky grin.

I did not like their sneaky grin.

"Well, we best be getting home," Lilith said.

"What do you mean 'we'? I don't live with you guys!" Jedah complained.

"That's not what I meant dumbass! I meant we need to get into your car, drive me to my home and then kiss me and wishing me a goodnight."

"Two things…no, three. I'm not kissing you, and I ain't driving you home."

"Why not?"

"…that's the thing. I don't have a car."

Lilith looked at him with surprise.

"You're saying that you don't have a car?! What kind of boyfriend are you?!"

"Hey, it's not like I knew we'd need one!"

"Not that! Why don't you have one already? First you say you're a lip-virgin and now you're saying you don't have a car?!"

(A/N: lip-virgin © of B. Murder lol)

"Well…I do have one."

"And coffee can't- …what?"

"I do have a car, but I don't use the old thing anymore."

Lilith cringed at the word 'old'.

"Well…it's better than nothing, I guess. Bring out the _old_ thing already."

"Okay, but it's been awhile."

Using his PWNage powers, Jedah summoned his car from a pool of blood. Out of the pool came his car, an astonishing sight to Lilith.

"Jedah…this is…"

Meanwhile, Morrigan and Demitri were waiting at a stoplight in Demitri's car where there was a line of zombies desperately needing to cross the road. The light was green, but Demitri chose not to run the zombies over. You can't just _run_ over a zombie. That'd be like . . . . . . . wrong.

"Why did the zombies cross the road?" Demitri asked irritably, "to topple my mileage, that's why!"

Meanwhile, Jedah and Lilith had pulled over at the same stoplight in Jedah's car. Morrigan and Demitri had caught sight of the car.

It was a blue car with a smooth paintjob, fine wheels, white linings at the end of the car, flashy headlights, and a surround system, which isn't important. And FYI, it isn't easy describing cars; I got nothing but this! But I shouldn't interrupt you guys. In other words, it was a "pimpin'" ride as Lilith would call it.

If Lilith cared to look, she would see jealousy in her sisters' eyes while confusion in Demitri's eyes. The zombie's eyes were…meh.

Once the stoplight turned green, Jedah hit his car at high speed blowing smoke into Demitri and Morrigan's wake and leaving behind a trail of fire, as well as running over a zombie in the progress.

"What the (cough) hell was that?" Morrigan said.

"I think that was Jed's car," he said, fanning the smoke away.

Morrigan thought for a bit, thinking who this Jed guy really was. Before she came to a possible conclusion, Demitri spoke.

"Well, so what if their car can do that?"

"What can your car do?"

"Turn into a swarm of bats."

"……"

"What? Bats are cool."

"After them!"

"But zombies are still crossing and-"

"Do I give a damn?!"

The zombie who got ran over from before then pulled out a cell phone and spoke into it.

"Yo Chris, I'm gonna be late for the convention. Tell the others-"

However, the zombie then got ran over by Demitri's car, stopping his conversation and nearly crushing his phone.

"Sam?" the receiver said.

"…you know what? Never mind I'll be there."

Demitri had caught up to Jedah and soon made eye contact with each other. Demitri simply drove a bit faster and Jedah knew that he wanted a race. Jedah was one for competition and began shifting gears, despite Lilith's cries for stopping and don't-you-dare-hit-that-gear remarks.

Oh boy. This will get ugly…

"Yoink!" Hsien-ko yelled.

"I yoink back," Blackheart said, stretching his hand from a hole of darkness.

"Damn it! I hate it when he uses darkness like that!"

The quarrel between Hsien-ko and Blackheart for the zombie head continues as their 'battle' is taken to the middle of the streets. And, for no reason at all, zombies began to surround them placing bets and whatnot.

"Punch him in the ass!" one said.

"Which way's the bathroom?" another said.

"Just crap in your seat!" one more said before I blew its freakin' brains out.

"So that's where Blackheart went," Sabretooth said.

"I was wondering what happened to Hsien-ko too," Felicia said.

"Hey Blackheart, quit fooling around! Do you really want to spend your night like this?" Sabretooth asked.

Blackheart then stood up straight and looked to the two while holding the zombie head in one hand.

"I just want this zombie head. Can you wait a little?" Blackheart said, all the while Hsien-ko tried to remove the head from Blackhearts hand which didn't budge an inch.

"Okay then, we'll try looking for the others," Sabretooth said while Hsien-ko tried using a crowbar this time.

"I think you'll find them in a building surrounded by zombies. Raptor's with them," Blackheart replied with Hsien-ko still trying to remove the zombie head, this time using a jackhammer.

"Will you stop that?" Blackheart said.

After a second of staring, Hsien-ko took away the jackhammer and pwn3d it upside his head.

"AHH!" he yelled then fell to the floor clutching his face.

Hsien-ko took this time and ran away with the zombie head. Many of the zombies betted on Blackheart btw.

"So, see any buildings being raided by zombies?" Sabretooth asked.

"Nope, can't find any," Felicia said.

"You guys looking for hoards of zombies?"

They turned to see a Mountain Puma…I mean Jaguar, selling toy centipedes on a table talking to them.

"Uh, yeah."

"Can't help you there. But I can offer you two a pair of robot centipedes; dollar each," it said.

"I don't know. I haven't learned to trust Mountain Cougars," Sabretooth said.

"That's Mountain Jaguar to you."

"And why would we need robot centipedes?" Felicia asked.

"That is a question many have asked me yet I've failed to answer."

"So what would you tell them?"

"Biscuit."

"What?"

"What?"

"Wait," Sabretooth said, "what's a Mountain Leopard-"

"Bobcat, Sabretooth," Felicia said.

"It's Mountain Jaguar!"

"Mountain Tiger, whatever, be doing selling toy centipedes in the middle of a zombie outbreak?"

"Yeah, I want to know that too," Felicia said.

"Well…that…uh…wouldn't it reel in the customers?"

"Are you even a Mountain Lion?"

"It's Mountain Jaguar!"

"So what are you trying to do actually?" Sabretooth asked.

"……hey, we're blood, right?"

"Not really," the two said.

"Fine! If I can't make a living here what expectations can I get with insolent people around?!" he said bringing out a suitcase packing up his toy centipedes, "I try and I try but I get no respect. Guess its back to the Mountain for me."

After packing up everything, including the table, he handed Sabretooth a key of some sort.

"There. What's the point of trying to sell that thing? You can have it. Go wild," he said leaving.

"……"

"…okay. So, what kind of key did you get?" Felicia asked.

"I dunno. Probably a tank of centipedes," he said pressing the button.

The wall behind them then exploded revealing a giant centipede.

"…or a centipede tank!" Felicia said.

"Wow, from here it looks like a big…tank."

"Let's get on it!"

I think you perverts know what it actually looks like from that angle. Once again, I'm wasting you're time…and I'm having fun doing it! Nyah!

"HAHAH! You'll never catch me on my batman mobile!" Hsien-ko yelled as she was being chased by Blackheart, who yelled out loud.

"COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!"

Wouertowuefdjasdhfksdhfpdlsjcvmsdcwervewtqyewquyvrtweytucympwerpxqwrupvwuymrtpyweoryumycewrtpmwueqmrtpc

"HAHAH! You'll never catch me on my Wonder scooter!" Hsien-ko yelled as she was being chased by Blackheart.

"God dammit! Gimme back the head!" Blackheart said.

"No way. The only way to catch me is if you had a Wonder Scooter or something!" she said.

"A Wonder what now?" Blackheart said, floating right beside her at the same speed.

"Crap…I didn't know you can fly."

"I didn't know you had a scooter."

"I didn't know you'll be hit by a wall."

"I didn't…what wall?"

SMACK!

"…that wall," she said as she drove away.

"Ugh, my face," Blackheart grieved.

"Hey dude," said a zombie, "giant centipede tank at four o' clock."

"Are you still talking?! Wait? What centipede tank?"

"Yeah! Yippee Kayae Mother#$er yeah!" Felicia yelled on top of the centipede.

"Oh crap!" Blackheart yelled.

"Hey Felicia," Sabretooth said, "any idea how to drive this thing?"

"I have no idea, but I've never ridden a giant centipede before."

"No one has and probably never will," he pointed out.

"Sabretooth?" Felicia asked.

"Yeah?"

"Isn't Birdie supposed to be with you?"

"Hmm, I think I lost her…"

"What do you mean you lost her?"

"Nope, wait, I remember. I left her with Marrow," he said.

"Say, any idea where Marrow is?" she asked.

"She said she would be isolating an old building…"

"But if Blackheart said that the others are at an old abandoned building…"

Sabretooth and Felicia (A/N: 3) both came to a conclusion.

(A/N: to those of you who don't know, if you've read my other fics, then you'd know why there's a reason for this 3 thingie, so STFU!)

"Okay guys," Jon said, "if we're going to do anything about those zombies then there's only one thing we have to do left."

"Well then let's hear it Wolf man," Marrow said.

"It's a quite complicated plan that took me hours to formulate in my head; shorter if I had paper, but I'm sure it will work. Now listen up. First-"

"Hey guys!" Jill said, "we looked deeper into the old house and found THREE bulldozers! Isn't that awesome?!"

"Now we can use them against the zombies with no problem. Isn't that cool?!" B.B. hood said.

"…N-No it isn't! I see bulldozers all the time and my plan doesn't need them," Jon said.

"Too bad wolf boy," Raptor said.

"Each bulldozer can hold two people. So two of us are gonna have to make space to fit all seven of us."

"…Wait, isn't there six of us?" Shuma Gorath said.

"Then who the hell is she?" Raptor said pointing to Birdie drinking tea.

"Don't mind me."

"OMG! Birdie!" B.B. hood squealed as she ran over to Birdie.

"Hey there B.B. Nice to see you too Jill," she said.

"Great! With Birdie here, we have an even better chance of killing all zombies," Jill said.

"Hello? I'm right here?" Raptor asked, but was ignored.

"Sorry, I ain't doing any zombie killing," Birdie said.

"What? Why not?" B.B. hood asked.

"I was only told to stay with Marrow. Nothing more, nothing less."

"But…but…but!" B.B. hood said starting to cry.

"Well, we are gonna go out there and fight zombies," Marrow said, "So you should come with us if those are your orders."

"Wait, who told you to stay here?" Raptor asked.

"My boss, Sabretooth," she said, taking another sip of her tea.

B.B. hood, Jill, Marrow, and even Shuma Gorath, had a look of uneasiness on their faces while Jon and Raptor looked confused.

"Did we miss something?" Jon asked.

"Of course we did," Raptor said.

"Well, we best get to those bulldozers, shall we?" Birdie said.

Outside…

"Why are we here again?" one zombie said.

"I forgot. Man I really need to get a brain for memory, y' know?" another zombie said.

"Hey, how many of us are left by the way?"

"…I think about 400."

"Look out!" a random zombie said.

"Look out for what, random zombie?"

"A giant centipede is coming this way!"

"No way," they said dully.

"Yes way!"

"No way," they said dully again.

"Yes way!" it said pointing to the giant centipede closing in.

"NO WAY!" they yelled.

"Have you learned to drive this thing yet?" Felicia asked.

"Almost, but I can't find a brake for this thing…" he said looking in the manual.

"Wait…is this thing supposed to stop?"

"…uh."

Before he could answer, Sabretooth quickly moved to the side to avoid the slash of an angry Blackheart.

"What the hell were you guys thinking running me over like that?!"

"Oh, hey Blackheart."

"Don't you 'hey' me! I could've been killed!"

"Hey Blackheart," Felicia said.

"I thought I said don't 'hey' me!"

"Whatever. But weren't you supposed to be fighting for the zombie head with Hsien-ko?" Felicia asked.

"Huh?"

"Hey Blackheart!" Hsien-ko yelled.

Blackheart looked over to the side of the giant centipede to see Hsien-ko driving a wide Jeep holding the zombie head in her other hand.

"You lose the game now the zombie head is mine!" she spoke with the zombie head.

"Why you little!"

Blackheart threw an Inferno at Hsien-ko…you know? the one where he shoots something into the ground and ice comes out? Anyway, he did that and nearly hit her.

"WHOA! Hey you can't kill me! if you did, you'd be sued by Capcom for killing off one of their characters and Marvel would have to hand over the Green Lantern in exchange for me!"

"…isn't the Green Lantern © of DC?"

"COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!" Sabretooth and Felicia yelled.

Qeeadgfrtefbbccxzgythbjuiknjopp;;.l,kl;pokmgtgftfdtfugiyucdrtiohfbnihfevwbyuortgivfubi r hiow rihey reuhrtuhwthuirt nuhi nhure ghufwer r uhir uhvwheref ha yhtwe hupwet gyerquhgr evqwuopre hiwqop sdfof bzsl;ncxf iwerfhesorgbhewrpuhtgrejhngvdfhg poiqtgpqerhgheqrpgu hhdfedhfpg

Blackheart threw an Inferno at Hsien-ko…you know? the one where he shoots something into the ground and ice comes out? Anyway, he did that and nearly hit her.

"WHOA! Hey you can't kill me! if you did, you'd be sued by Capcom for killing off one of their characters and Marvel would have to hand over the Green Goblin in exchange for me!"

"She's right Blackheart, you can't kill her." Sabretooth said.

"Do I care?" he said before he shot another Inferno but was then ambushed by Sabretooth and Felicia.

"Listen you moron. It doesn't matter how many times you try to kill her, every shot you take will add up to the lawsuit issues," Sabretooth said.

"Since when did you guys know this stuff?" Blackheart asked.

"We needed to know this stuff after Marvel complained about Capcom's lack of license in the internet connectivity for X Box," Felicia said.

"…what?"

"Yo Blackheart, I heard you were the worst player at twister!" Hsien-ko yelled.

"Why you little!" he said, getting and tossing an inferno at her which missed and collided with an old building.

"So, now that we have these bulldozers, how are we gonna get out?" Jon asked.

"Are you that simple-minded?" B.B. hood said, "Guys, get ready to-"

Before she could finish her sentence, the wall in front of them exploded in an ice mesh.

"…that works too," B.B. hood said.

The giant centipede then trampled its way by the wall as zombies were crushed under its massive…things. It took about three minutes for the big thing to pass by.

"…what the hell was that?" Raptor said.

"We're ZOMBIIIIIEEEESSSSS!" the zombie said.

"…"

"…RAM THAT SON OF A BITCH!" B.B. hood yelled.

"AHH!" the zombie yelled.

"So, anything from the manual?" Felicia asked.

"Nope," Sabretooth said.

"Wait a minute," Blackheart said; looking closer, "it's just a dinosaur pop-up book!"

"So it is," Sabretooth said, then pulled on a slit of paper, "Look at the little birdie fly!"

"Then how do we turn?" Felicia asked.

"How are we gonna stop?!" Blackheart yelled.

"Oh, the instructions are on the end of the book," Sabretooth said, "it says here, 'Tilt left antennae to turn left. Tilt right antennae to turn right. Pull both antennae back to brake'."

"Well alright. Let's brake," Blackheart said.

"Yeah, maybe we should," Felicia said.

"Why?" Sabretooth asked.

"…you're right. Why?"

"But…guys," Blackheart mumbled.

"Quiet Blackheart. Minutes ago, you were fighting with a Chinese ghost over a zombie head."

"Yeah, you can get one right here or at the Supermarket," Sabretooth said, diving to the right to borrow a head and handed it to Blackheart, "they've got a three for one sale now."

With his newfound head, Blackheart simply stayed quiet staring at the zombie head.

"Eh, good enough."

And now, for no reason whatsoever, here's an interview with a fly.

"I woke up today at the sound of police sirens outside my window. I knew I couldn't be caught again so I tried to-"

SPLAT!

"Damn flies," Sasquatch said, retracting the flyswatter.

And then this happened…

"…I sense a disturbance," Q Bee said to herself.

"Nah, you're probably having your period," Sasquatch said.

Sternly, she snapped her fingers. Venom looked to his side and immediately backed away in time to avoid a swarm of angry bees attacking Sasquatch, who screamed in pain as he dropped his knits. Looking at the knits, Q Bee picked them up and looked at them as Venom resumed watching Seinfeld. After a while, Sasquatch stopped screaming.

"Uh, you're supposed to keep the left stitch holding the thread the right one's fixating," he said.

After Q Bee took his advice, she got the hang of it and resumed knitting. Too bad Sasquatch was stupid enough to talk again.

"You know, from right here your boobs look like targets."

After another snap of her fingers, another swarm of bees came in and dived at the idiot fluff ball, who screamed even louder again.

"You know? I can't help but feel that there's danger in our future," Q Bee said.

"How so?" Venom asked.

"I don't know, but it feels like the cause of danger lies in the streets…"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Lilith yelled, whose face climaxed at over 400 miles per hour.

"HOW FAST DOES YOUR CAR GO?!" Lilith yelled, who had to, to talk to Jedah over the roaring winds.

"I GET ABOUT 500 MILEAGE ON THIS THING. THANKS FOR ASKING," Jedah yelled.

"NO, I MEAN, HOW FAST CAN YOUR CAR GO?!"

"YOU WANT ME TO GO FASTER?!"

"NO!"

"OKAY? OKAY!" Jedah yelled as he shifted gears again, possibly hitting the speed of light brink.

"JEDAH! I THINK YOU CAN STOP NOW! I THINK WE WON!"

"DID YOU SAY 'YOU STINK IN A POT HOW WE LINK TO A GUN'? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!"

"NO YOU DUMB &$+! SLOW DOWN!"

"LOOK BEHIND YOU! THEY'RE STILL FOLLOWING US!"

When Lilith looked behind her, she saw that Demitri's car had sprouted wings already as was almost at the same speed as theirs.

"My car may not be a pro racecar, but its speed is next to nothing in the air," Demitri said, being safe from the blinding speed thanks to a window pane called a windshield.

"HEY JEDAH! HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN DRIVING?!" Lilith asked.

"UH, ABOUT 4 HOURS, I THINK."

"WHEN WILL WE GET TO THE FINISH LINE?"

"FINISH LINE?…finish…line?"

"YOU MEAN WE'VE BEEN DRIVING AT 400 MILES PER HOUR FOR NO REASON?! I GOT A G-FORCE FACELIFT THANKS TO YOU!"

Lilith then reached over to grab Jedah's wheel forcefully.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"I'M TURNING THIS THING AROUND!"

"DON'T PRESS ANYTHING! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'LL HAPPEN!"

Seeing a red button, Lilith pressed it, hoping to stop the car at least. To Jedah's despair, the button caused the car to sprout wings like Demitri's car. Problem? These wings looked like Jedah's wings. At the velocity the car was going, the car soon flew to the sky bypassing Demitri's car.

"I thought you said your car was the fastest in the sky?" Morrigan said.

"I know I said that. It's just…that car looks familiar…" Demitri said.

Having resumed at the speed where they didn't have to yell, Lilith looked down and then turned to Jedah.

"I didn't know this car had wings," Lilith said.

"It does, but look closely at the wings," Jedah said, slouching in the car's steering wheel.

Lilith realized that they looked like Jedah's wings and if anyone saw them then they'd be free to guess who Lilith was really dating.

"…crap. Hurry! Fly this thing down! Fly me home, now!"

"There's a little problem to that request," Jedah said sheepishly.

"What's that?"

The car then made a putting noise, you know? That noise were you can tell if something has…

"…ran out of gas," Jedah finished for me.

The moment before they fell to the ground, Lilith said to Jedah in an honest and docile matter.

"I hate you."

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

The screen then turned all black and white with that KZZZT sound. Seconds later, it turned back on again.

"Sorry for having to interrupt your program. This is a reminder to all you readers that you should not be afraid of any character deaths that miraculously will not happen in this fiction. Please, do not be afraid, as Jedah and Lilith will make it out alive. And now, we resume to the program," Bishamon said, ". . . . . . I'm not even in this fic."

"La de da de da de da!" Hsien-ko hummed as she drove in her Jeep.

"Good thing I lost that giant centipede. I was afraid I would get crushed or something."

"…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Jedah and Lilith yelled from above.

Hsien-ko looked up to see a blue winged car falling right down for her.

"Aw $& me."

BOOM!

MOO!

I told you you're fired! …anyway.

"…Jedah?" Lilith asked, "Does your car have a backup system?"

"No, why?" Jedah said.

"Then why are we still driving?"

"Hey! Who the hell is this?" Hsien-ko yelled from below.

"Who the hell are you?" Jedah yelled back.

"Jedah? Is Lilith with you?"

"What are you doing down there Hsien-ko?" Lilith asked.

"You guys came out of nowhere and landed on my car! What kind of date are you guys on?!"

Suddenly, Jedah and Lilith drove their hands into the bottom of the car.

"It's not a date!" they yelled.

(A/N: lol they said it.)

"Grab her by the hair, I'll go for the hat!" Jedah said.

"Where is she? She keeps moving!" Lilith said.

Suddenly, Hsien-ko busted her head through the car as if it were an ordinary wall.

"Wow, this is really weak footing for a car. What is this, plaster?"

"Get her!" they yelled.

After a quarrelling struggle, the three then came to a realization.

"Wait a minute," Lilith said, "Hsien-ko, where are your hands?"

"Trying to bust through the crappy footing of a machine you call a car."

"Hey!" Jedah said.

"So, who's driving?" Lilith asked.

After another moment of thinking, they realized that no one was driving.

"Hsien-ko, get back down and drive!" Jedah yelled.

"I can't! My head's stuck! I can't see where I'm driving!"

"Then remove your head or something!"

"What do you think I am? A zombie?!"

"Close enough!"

All the while, Lilith was reading the street sign as they went by.

"…Swamp-man blvd…Werewolf blvd…New Jersey avenue …Elm street…Dusky blvd…Wood-face blvd…hey Hsien-ko, don't we live in Wood-face blvd?"

"Uh, yeah. A few blocks down the Candy man shop," she said.

Another awkward moment of silence passed as the three came to _another_ conclusion.

And this one wasn't so pretty.

"Hey Morrigan, my car's running a little low on fuel. I'm gonna have to make a quick stop at a gas station. Is that ok?" Demitri said.

"Sure. I can't even find Lilith and Jed. But I also don't see a gas station in sight," Morrigan said.

"Hmm, we'll need some form of transportation that'll carry my car to the nearest gas station without the express of midair travel."

"How about that giant centipede?" Morrigan said, pointing to the large orange…thing.

"…eh, good enough."

To the centipede!

"So, do you guys plan on stopping anytime soon?" Blackheart said.

"Nah, not really," Felicia said.

"We still need to find the others," Sabretooth said.

Blackheart looked at the two back and forth.

"Alright, seriously. If you guys are gonna do it, then do it already. I mean, c'mon. How long do we have to wait? Go ahead and make them do it already. It's not like you'll drive away your readers," Blackheart, receiving strange looks from Sabretooth and Felicia.

"…what?" Sabretooth said.

Blackheart simply stared at the two in stern and said.

"Never mind."

"Hey guys!" Demitri yelled.

"Was that Demitri?"

"If it's ok, I'll land my car on this centipede. No problems, right?"

Sabretooth and Felicia pointed to Demitri and said.

"You need to buy a permit first!"

"Are you guys saying you own this thing?!" Blackheart asked as Demitri's car landed having run out of gas.

"Hey guys, I need to make a quick pit stop over at the gas station. You think you guys can take us there?" Demitri asked.

"You're asking the wrong questions Demitri. These guys don't plan on-"

"According the manual, commanding the centipede to take you to a certain area is all that is needed to transport you to your destination," Sabretooth said as Blackheart glared at him angrily.

"Well, okay then. Hey centipede fella, can you-" Demitri said, but was interrupted.

"Now wait a minute here! How long do you guys plan on ignoring me?" Blackheart said, "I did not agree to come back here just so that I would be annoyed and ignored to a trauma point!"

"Why did you come here then?" Morrigan asked.

"Oh, well, actually I came to see Morrigan, mostly."

"For what?" Demitri asked.

"Well, I still had to talk to her about that-"

Suddenly, Captain Commando came by running like crazy on the side of the centipede.

"Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo!"

Strangely, he was running faster than the centipede. Captain Commando was soon out of sight causing an atmosphere of awkwardness.

"…okay." Blackheart said.

"So, you need to talk to her about what now?" Demitri asked.

"…never mind."

"Okay, centipede, take us to the gas station," Sabretooth commanded as the…thing, roared in agreement…then turned left.

"Hey, Felicia, isn't that your house we're heading for?" Sabretooth asked.

"I do believe it is," Felicia replied.

"I thought we were going to the gas station," Morrigan said.

"Oh yeah, wherever is our desired destination, the centipede will head towards that place no matter what's in the way," Sabretooth said.

"And the nearest gas station is 2 blocks down our house west," Felicia said, "was that in the manual?"

"No. I made it up, but it looks like the centipede doesn't plan on stopping…"

Moments of silence…screams of fear…really-pulling-hard of antennae's…

"To be honest, I thought there would be more zombies out here to PWN," Jill said.

"The giant centipede has been killing off most of them," Shuma Gorath said.

"Then again, with Raptor with us, the rest will be easy to kill," B.B. hood said.

"So all I gotta keep doing is scream to my fans and tell them to lay on the floor, right?" Raptor asked.

"As long as you keep doing that," Marrow said.

"Why am I driving a bulldozer again?" Jon asked.

"Because your lack of coordination is so awful it could be used as a weapon," Birdie said, sipping some tea.

All 7 of them were driving bulldozers, PWNing zombies in the way. For some reason, the zombies were easily defeated by bulldozers, but Shuma Gorath's powers were ineffective against, which made no sense at all.

"Hey Shuma?" Marrow asked.

"What?"

"If these bulldozers can kill zombies and you can't, does that mean a bulldozer is greater than you?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Sure looks like it."

"Well, maybe if I had an infinity gem…"

"Oh, you mean this thing?" B.B. hood said, bringing out an infinite gem from her pocket.

"…where the hell did you get that?"

"Blackheart gave it to me, thinking it was some cheap jewelry."

"You mean you stole it."

"Yeah, but the gift was for Morrigan and she didn't want it, so she gave it to me."

"You mean you stole it?"

"Maybe."

"Whatever, just give me the infinite gem!"

"How do we know you won't run away with it?"

"An infinite gem will enhance my abilities, meaning I can kill these zombies quicker!"

"We could use a powerhouse," Jill said.

"Just give it to him B.B. hood," Jon said.

"Fine," B.B. hood said as she handed Shuma the gem.

"Wait a minute," Marrow said, "different gems have different effects. What kind of effects will this one have?"

"I don't know, but I'll try focusing on destruction," Shuma said as the gem glowed.

Then, in front of them, came a hole from another dimension. And out of the hole came…wait. OMFG! It's a hole! …anyway. Out of the hole came a tsunami of water!

"CRAP!" they yelled.

"This is the last time I lend you a dial of destruction!" B.B. hood yelled.

"It wasn't my fault! Seriously!"

"Guys! This is bad news!" Jon yelled to the others.

"Really? I couldn't tell!" Raptor yelled.

"This flood is heading towards Wood-face blvd."

"And?" B.B. hood asked.

"This flood is carrying us back to our house!"

"And?"

"Our house will be destroyed!"

"And?"

"B.B. hood, quit playing around. You live there too, you know?"

"…and?"

"Our bulldozers will totally damage the house!" Raptor yelled.

"And we still haven't paid of the warrant!" Jon yelled.

"No! The warrant!" B.B. hood yelled.

"I knew she was gonna say that."

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

"Can't you guys change this things direction?" Blackheart yelled.

"I can't! Once this thing is given a destination, it won't stop until it gets there!" Sabretooth yelled.

"We're gonna crash!" Felicia yelled.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Hey guys, breaking news," Q Bee said.

"This is pandemonium. Chaos is everywhere as the zombie outbreak dies down but only brings more trouble to the town. At the moment, a giant centipede is heading towards a house on Wood-face blvd as well as a giant flood from nowhere from the other side. And for no reason at all, I'm gonna shove dry spaghetti up my nose," the anchorman said.

Q Bee, Venom, Victor, Donovan, Anita, Sasquatch, the attacking bees, Phobos, Rikou, and Anakaris leaned to the left of the television to see the giant centipede heading towards them.

"We estimate that there will be no survivors. Coming up next, the lottery!"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed.

"Lilith, this all your fault!" Jedah yelled, "If you didn't want to show up your sister so badly, none of this would've happened!"

"Well, excuse me for trying to have a wonderful night!" Lilith shouted.

"Uh, guys? Are we gonna crash?" Hsien-ko asked.

"Well, maybe if you had the guts to say yes in the first place, your reputation wouldn't be on the line!" Lilith yelled.

"Why should I bother hanging out with someone like you? Why can't you get a date yourself?" Jedah shouted.

"Because my sister keeps killing my boyfriends!"

"…really? You shouldn't be jealous! How does that make you jealous?"

"Do you realize that she'll try to kill you too?"

"But then, that would be a problem."

"I have lost all respect for you!"

"Like I had any for you in the first place she-devil!"

"Blue drop!"

"Candy cane!"

"Blood don!"

"Red slut!

"Kiss me now!"

"I don't see why not!"

And then they kiss.

Hsien-ko was watching the whole time, now feeling a little traumatized on the inside. She pulled her head down into her jeep believing it was just a dream.

"Okay, that was weird. Huh?"

The house is now meters away from crashing into distance. This is gonna suck.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

CLICK!

Everything is frozen as if someone pressed the pause button.

"Hello there, it's me, Bishamon," Bishamon said as he sat in a Hollywood chair with a TV next to him showing everything that is happening in the fic.

"To business, I'm here to send a last-minute message to the readers from the author himself. Due to the longevity of this fic and at the same time passing the page numbers of the last chapter, he'd like me to tell you that this will be the last chapter. We thank you for your support after these long months but it's time this fic has come to a close."

"What about the epilogue?" Pyron said.

"Wait a minute. Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Aren't you supposed to be banished from the armor?"

"Good point. Anyways, about the prologue, the author still hasn't decided if the epilogue should be the last chapter, or a separate story."

"I say the last chapter, since there isn't any point in just adding a new story."

"Well, I say it should be a separate story, since the author has issues with finishing chapters and he really doesn't want to keep the readers waiting. Plus, it may get him some people on author alert."

"…how'd you stop the story? I mean, isn't it airing live in the studio?" Pyron asked.

"Tivo."

"Ah."

"And now, back to our- hey, what the hell are you doing are you doing?" Bishamon asked as Pyron stole the remote.

"I wanna watch the game," he said as he changed the channel to a football channel.

"Don't you know what happens when you change the channel while pausing a live recording?!" Bishamon yelled.

It was too late though. Pyron had already changed the channel and saw everyone within the recording in football uniforms and playing like they knew what the hell they were doing!"

"Cool …heh, she saw that one coming. Wonder what's on Animal Planet?"

"Stop that!" Bishamon yelled.

"Now I wanna go to Shark Week."

Bishamon then tackled Pyron in an epic battle for the TiVo remo! Which ended after 2 minutes with Bishamon being the winner.

"Damn fireman," he said.

"BISHAMON WINS. FATALITY," a voice from above roared.

"Hey, aren't you that guy who voices those Mortal Kombat matches? What the hell are you doing here? And stop speaking in Caps!" he yelled looking around.

"Well, they've already recorded my voices for Mortal Kombat: Armageddon, so now I'm just bored."

"Hey, dude," Pyron pointed from below, "I need a guy to voice my battles and you have the voice, man."

"Really? What's my pay?"

"Sorry dude, Capcom has no license to be using his voice and Konami already has enough lawsuit issues as it is," Bishamon said.

"Oh. Oh well, tough luck pal," Pyron said.

"But…my voice…it…"

"You know, I heard Thanos has been looking for someone to voice over his attacks and you could work."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He wants someone who could imitate Scorpion for his moves."

"Oh, I can imitate lots of voices, like this," clearing of throats is heard, "Get over here!" he yelled, imitating Scorpion.

"Perfect! You can find Thanos around the ice cream shop."

"…is he gone?" Pyron asked.

"Yeah."

"Thanos isn't looking for someone to voice his attacks," Pyron said.

"Yeah? Well, that's Marvel's problem now," Bishamon said.

"No wonder Marvel and Capcom disbanded."

"Hey morons," Dee said.

"Who the hell are you? You look like Donovan and Demitri put together in a blender with the smoothie button on full blast," Pyron said.

"…what the hell did he just say?" Dee asked.

"Why are you here Dee? I thought we said you don't have any position within our company yet," Bishamon said.

"I know, but still. You guys are wasting too much time," Dee said, snatching the remote from Bishamon.

"How do you change this thing?" Dee said as he tried pointing to the TV.

"He's holding it backwards," Pyron said.

Dee tried pushing a few buttons, but with the remote pointing towards him, his clothing changed. Now, he was a cowboy! Eat that Chuck Norris!

"…what are you guys looking at?" Dee asked.

The two were snickering holding in the laughter as Dee tried to change the channel. This time, he was black and white.

"For some reason, my only choices of ice cream flavor are now vanilla and chocolate."

He tried changing the channel again only to look poorly drawn.

"…what smells like lol?" he asked.

Before he pressed another button, Pyron snatched the remote.

"I can't believe this thing can change people too!" Pyron said.

"Me too! I had no idea this thing was that powerful," Bishamon said.

Pyron then pressed another button and Dee became Italian. Bishamon pressed another button and Dee turned into a zombie. Pyron pressed another button this time and then he turned into a turtle.

"OMG, best ego yet!" Pyron said.

A beeping was heard as Bishamon looked at his digital watch.

"Uh, it's 3:00 Pyron," Bishamon said.

"So?"

Dee turned into a shark when the beeping was heard.

"Aw crap! Go back! Go back!" Pyron yelled as he tried pressing random buttons.

Bishamon simply pressed the off button as Dee turned to normal.

"…Never. Do. That. Again," Dee said.

"Okay, but seriously, he's right. We need to get back to the story now," Bishamon said.

"Fine, but I'm keeping the remote after," Pyron said as Bishamon pressed the play button to the screen.

"…ugh, what happened?" Lilith said, rubbing her head.

Rubble, rubble, everywhere, and not a living soul in sight. That's because everyone's a $&ing Darkstalkers ya $&ing loser!

"Is the Centipede okay?" Blackheart said.

"NO! My baby!" the mountain Jaguar yelled as it ran to the giant beast, which was half dead from the collision, and hugged it.

"Felicia, you okay?" Sabretooth asked; who barely had a scratch on him.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Felicia said, not having a scratch either!

"What a mess," Morrigan said.

"At least my car is still in one piece," Demitri said, who touched his car which then fell apart into, like, a gazillion pieces.

"Is everyone dead yet?" B.B. hood asked.

"No, I think we're still alive, thank you very much," Jon said.

"How could you not know a flood would happen?" Marrow asked.

"You guys wanted to get rid of all the zombies and they're gone," Shuma Gorath said, "…wait. What happened to the infinity gem?"

"And it was such a good bulldozer too!" Jill said, crying over a shattered bulldozer.

"…has anyone seen my tea?" Birdie asked.

"CAMEO! CAMEO! CAMEO! CAMEO! CAMEO! CAMEO!" Captain Commando yelled.

"I was watching that," Venom said, sitting on the couch with a missing television.

"Anita, are okay?" Donovan asked.

"Anything but happy," Anita replied.

"Knit one, pearl two," Sasquatch repeated, knitting while covered in bee stings.

"That's right, keep knitting," Q Bee commanded.

"Other than the importance of safety, does anyone want a cookie?" Anakaris asked.

"Hey Rikou, your fountains all out of water now," Victor said.

"Oh shut up. You're only saying that because you had no physical importance in the story at all," Rikou said.

"Hsien-ko! My dear, I'm glad you are safe!" Raptor said.

"Who are you? The Sanji of Darkstalkers?" Hsien-ko asked.

"Wait, where's Jedah?" Lilith asked, who failed to realize what she had just said right now.

"…did she just say Jedah?" Morrigan asked.

"Why would Jedah be dating Lilith? I thought he was cool like that," Demitri said.

Q Bee then began to stutter to herself as she had just realized that their little night-of-a-date had gone completely wrong.

"How did this happen?" she whispered to herself.

"Lilith soon found Jedah under a pile of bricks. Now, Jedah was in his original form with the blue shirt, the weird yellow strands, everything.

"Oh, good, you're alive," Lilith said, lifting him up while everyone watched, "For a second there, I thought that I wouldn't get to show up Morrigan one more time."

"Show me what now?" Morrigan asked.

Lilith looked at Morrigan then to the unconscious Jedah. Jedah to Morrigan. Morrigan to Shuma Gorath. Centipede to grieving Q Bee. Morrigan to Demitri. Random zombie to Jedah.

"AH!" she yelled as she tried pushing Jedah back into the bricks.

"T-This isn't what it looks like!" she yelled as Jedah struggled to get free.

"…okay, not even I know what just happened," Morrigan said, "can we all just be honest and tell our side of the story?"

"Morrigan trying to be fair in judgment?" Lilith asked, "What has been going on tonight?"

After a quick reread of the chapter…I mean, random and unnecessary flashbacks.

"I see, so Q bee set you two up to help Lilith and had Jedah do so against his will?" Morrigan clarified.

"Yeah," the two said dully.

"Guess keeping that horse a secret didn't work out so well, huh Jedah?" Demitri asked.

"I know," Jedah answered as an undead horse with a penguin on its head walked in.

"Squawk!" the horse screeched.

"I know. Will you let it go already?" Jedah said.

The penguin made some chicken noises as it clutched the horse and flew away, leaving only the horses hooves.

"Does that mean you guys will be leaving?" Felicia asked.

"Yeah, the nights almost over and we need to leave," Sabretooth said.

"Wait a minute, who the hell is this?" Jon asked.

"Jon, this is an old friend of mine. Call him Sabretooth," Felicia said.

"Is he another Marvel character?"

"Hey dude, you going somewhere with this?" Sabretooth asked.

"He always acts like this whenever I'm with a friend. I was surprised Capcom kept its bond with Namco after that little scuffle between Jon and King," Felicia said.

"Well, is it my fault to be jealous?" Jon asked.

"You really need to calm down wolf boy. I've met ruder people than you," Sabretooth said.

"Geez, why does the author always try to push me away from them?" Jon said to himself.

"Will you stop breaking the fourth wall already? It's getting annoying," Felicia said.

"What wall? Everything has been torn down because of tonight. If you two hadn't rented that giant centipede, mostly none of this would've hapaaaaaaaa……" Jon said, falling to the floor with a tranquilizer dart in his arm.

"God, no one likes a whiner," B.B. hood said, holding the tranquilizer gun.

"WHY?!" Q bee yelled, running over to Jedah and grabbed his collar.

"Why did this have to happen? I was so close to finding happiness in extortion!" she yelled.

"Will you let him go? It's not totally his fault," Lilith said.

"If only it were any other night. Any other night than this!" she yelled as in the background Raptor floated his way over to Hsien-ko only to be back-fisted by her.

"Hey guys," Anakaris announced, "while we're grieving in sorrow as well as trauma-dilation, why don't you try some of my meat picks?" he said holding a tray of meaty bites with toothpicks.

"Hmm, they're pretty good. I like jerked meat," Rikou said, "…um, Anakaris, where did you get the meat for this?"

"Meat for what now?" he said as he tried to snap Raptor back into reality and eat some of his meat.

"…never mind."

"Well guys, tonight definitely was a night to remember," Lilith said.

"We'd better get going," Sabretooth said, getting up, "see ya later Felicia."

"Alright. Be sure to bring Servbot if you can," she said.

"I'll make note of that. Hey Blackheart, time to go."

"Huh? Oh, okay," he said, getting up, "Morrigan, I'll be back for you later, bitch."

"Be seein' ya," she said as she took a bite out of the meat pick.

FYI Demitri was talking to Shuma at the time.

After the house was rebuilt and the bulldozers were repaired, everyone had returned to their normal lives. Bishamon, Pyron and Dee, who had no moral importance to the story, tried moving back into the house with the other Darkstalkers. Unfortunately, the house was rebuilt a little smaller than before so there was even less room. Felicia and Lilith had to move out and Bishamon decided to go work at a sushi shop or something. Felicia didn't mind moving out as she already knew where to go to coughSabretoothcough but Lilith still had trouble deciding where to live. Oh, and they decided who would move out by rock, paper, scissors. It's still a mystery as to how fins were omitted into the game.

"So, Lilith, where you gonna live?" Morrigan asked as she watched her sister pack up.

"Can't believe I lost to a fish," Lilith mumbled.

"You know, I heard Jedah's house is a 2-bedroom house."

Lilith turned around to eye her sister confusingly.

"Wait, you're not insisting I…"

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you to did something crazy together n your date, did you?"

Lilith got angry and threw a book at her yelling.

"IT'S NOT A DATE!"

And so ends the date that wasn't. I'd like to thank all of my readers for having stood by me for so long (though in my mind I'd rather see them as monkeys). I'd also like to thank my hands for typing for long durations of time as well as my mentality for kicking me until I started this chapter. God, why don't I thank myself while I'm at it? I'd also like to thank Baron Hausenpheffer who gave me the best reviews of anyone. Though he hasn't reviewed in a while. Sure hope this changes that.

Thank you all once again.

R/R!


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